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Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1081 to 1095)Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 1081 to 1095. |
A traveler wandering on an isl...
A traveler wandering on an island inhabited by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialized in human brains sorted out according to source.The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb
Philosophers' Brains $12/lb
Scientists' Brains $15/lb
Blondes' Brains $100/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those beekeepers' brains are expensive - they must be very powerful!"
The butcher replied, "Not really. They're expensive because it takes so many Blondes to get one pound of brains!!"
A guy is stranded on a desert ...
A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, It's not a raft. Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!," he says.
She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow! That's fantasti Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that went down the >front of >her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a computer in there?"
Question And Answer Blond Jokes
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".
Someone saw a blonde eati...
Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll - Tootsie Pop?"
Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper."
I Want Some Milk
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"
Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."
One day a blonde woman named S...
One day a blonde woman named Sally finally got tired of everyone assuming she was stupid because of her hair color. She decided to go to the hairdressers and have her hair dyed brown.Feeling quite proud of her new look she decided to go for a drive in the country. After a while she came upon a shepherd. Trying to test out her new look she walked over to him and asked, "If I can guess how many sheep you have may I take one for a reward?"
The shepherd thought that she would never guess the exact number of sheep, so he took her bet and let her try. Amazingly she guessed 98, the exact number of sheep he owned.
Feeling rather good about herself, she picked up her reward and started walking back to her car. Before she got there the shepherd tapped her on the shoulder.
"If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Once there was a blonde who re...
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory.She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring.
The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad.
After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours, the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up.
The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was.
When he arrived the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles not two testicles!"
