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Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1891 to 1905)Jokes about doctor. These are funny jokes with doctors! These are the jokes listed 1891 to 1905. |
Stumping Dear Abbey
...Stumping Dear Abbey
Dear Abby:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby:
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby:
I have a man I could never trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby:
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby:
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby:
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who is raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby:
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
Dear Abby:
My forty-year-old son has been paying a pyschiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby:
I was married to Bill for some three months and I didnt know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby:
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.
Dear Abby:
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.
Bad Sunburn
A gu...
Bad Sunburn
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn.
He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
He was already starting to blister and in agony.
The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said, "What good will Viagra do him?"
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
A man walks into a bar a...
A man walks into a bar and asks: "Can I have a pint of Less, please?"
A Child's Prayer
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
A manager brings a dog ...
A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.The dog is a brilliant piano player. He plays all the
standards. He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes,
when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags him
out. The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”
The manager says,
“That's his mother. She wants him to be a doctor.”
A man goes to the doctor feeli...
A man goes to the doctor feeling unwell. The doctor examines him and says: "You're suffering from Alice.""I don't know," says the doctor, "But Christopher Robin went down with it"
Mrs C Smith, Penicuik
Did you hear about the man who bought a dog with no legs?
He called it cigarette. He used to take it out for a drag.
Neil Sutton, Corstorphine
Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, one of the muffins said: "Man it's hot in here."
The other muffin exclaimed: "Look, a talking muffin!"
Tony White, Loanhead
Why does a room full of married people looks so empty?
There's not a single person in it . . .
Mark Allan, Niddrie
What do you call a boom-a-rang, that doesn't come back?
A Stick.
Eric Stevenson, Leith
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