Food jokes (196 to 210)

Eating a quantity of fruit eve

Eating a quantity of fruit every day is of pear-amount importance.

A Yogi Walked into a Pizza Parlor…

What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor?"Make me one with everything."When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"The proprietor said, "Change must come from within."

New Dog Food

We put our dog on a vegan diet, and she's doing really well...
She's eaten two so far.

After Dinner Routine

Both my wife and I are bad cooks.
Our cooking is so bad, that our kids have started praying after we've had dinner.

Breakfast Time

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked Dewey, the new husband.
"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.

At what time am I most hungry?

At what time am I most hungry? Ate a clock.

The Designated Canine

While taking their dog on a road trip, a family carries his drinking water in a gin bottle. On one occasion they stopped for lunch and let him out of the car. Pouring some water from the bottle into his bowl, the husband noticed a man watching with fascination.
The man slowly approached the family and whispered, "I hope that you're not going to let that dog drive!"

Flea for Your Life

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his life and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”His son asked, “But what happened to the flea?”

Golf Balls Are Like Eggs

Golf balls are like eggs...
They are both white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to go out and buy more.
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Just Checking

A 5-year-old said grace at a family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes.”When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken.He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if he was paying attention tonight.”

Shipwrecked on an Island

Two men were shipwrecked near an island. When they landed ashore, one of them began screaming and yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No water! We're going to die!"The second man leaned calmly against a palm tree. When the first man saw how calm his friend was, he went crazy and shouted, "Don't you understand?! We're going to die!! "Undisturbed, the second man replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000 a week. "Dumbfounded, the first man looked at him and asked, "What difference does that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to DIE!!! "The second man answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. Wherever I am, my pastor will be sure to find me!"

Have you been to Germany? The

Have you been to Germany? The food is good in München and the beer is great in Slürpen!

Murphy's Slaw Murphy's Slaw: If cabbage can go rotten, it will.

#joke #short #food #cabbage

Pretty Good

Jack: How’s it going?
Beans: Pretty good.
Jack and the Beans talk.

Church Bulletin Bloopers

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.