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Short jokes - funny one liners (441 to 480)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 441 to 480. |
Safe Sex
Every time I go on vacation my wife gets pregnant...
This year I'm taking her with me!
Meth addicts
What did one meth addict say to the other? Let's be frenzy.It's free to make a long
It's free to make a long distance call from the bathroom of a jumbo jet, if you use Sky pee.A statistically significant al
A statistically significant alcohol test is when you pee greater than .05.Palin spent $150,000 on ca
Palin spent $150,000 on campaign outfits?Those who work with bamboo are
Those who work with bamboo are dirty rattan scoundrels.As she's watching the pa
As she's watching the paparazzi ruckus from heaven, I'm sure she wished to have been Princess Die-anonymously.True Hospitality
True hospitality is making your guests feel like they ARE at home...
... all the while you really wish they WERE at home!
Dozen of Nothing
My wife asked me why I call her 12?
Dozen cook, dozen clean, dozen do anything...
You can get never get a straig
You can get never get a straight answer from an oceanographer. They just say, “it deepens.”
It's politically incorre
It's politically incorrect to mock skin conditions. So choose your warts carefully.I Had A Disease
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.
It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
The pervert was arrested after
The pervert was arrested after going back to the store and demanding a refondle.
Rank of full professor
Why does it take so long to become a full professor?
Because it takes ten years to get tenure, and then another ten years to get your fingers back.
Wrong Answer
My wife asked me what my favorite time to have sex was?
Apparently "when you're at work" was the wrong answer.
Unplug the Machine
I now know how it will end for me...
One of my kid's will unplug my life support to charge their phone.
Which Lord of the Rings charac
Which Lord of the Rings character had excess ear wax?
In the Wild West, there were m
In the Wild West, there were many aboriginal sweat shops, where native women were forced to manufacture headgear, working in squaw lid conditions.How do you hunt down a cunning
How do you hunt down a cunning linguist?With a semioterotomatic rifle!
She Changed Her Name
She wanted to buy personalized license plates but she couldn't afford them.
So she changed her name to JKM345.
If anorexic models are banned
If anorexic models are banned – it proves there is too thin advertising.
Satan took my colander. No sur
Satan took my colander. No surprise: He is the Great De-Siever.Transportation Prayers
I'm not saying that I'm a bad driver...
But when I drive, my navigation device doesn't speak, it prays in Latin.
For a pun about blind dates, t
For a pun about blind dates, the best part is the set up.Alphabet Killer
A British guy stabbed the 12th letter of the alphabet several times.
Bloody L.
If I Had A Dollar
If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me to grow up...
I could build the coolest tree house ever!
A Woman in Walmart
I saw a woman in Walmart with March Madness teeth...
She was down to the Final Four.
