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Short jokes - funny one liners (401 to 440)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 401 to 440. |
People who can't speak French
NED: People who can't speak French disgust me.ED: Really.
NED: Those dirty mot-fauxs…
The cit
The city council shut down the pay-per-use public shower, because it ran into fee-douche-iary troubles.International Plastic Bag Free Day Joke
July 3rd is International Plastic Bag Free Day! Find joke about it!
Why did the plastic bag go to therapy? It couldn't handle the pressure and felt all crumpled up inside.
#internationalplasticbagfreeday #plasticbagfreeday
Grass thief
After being turfed from his job, the grass thief was sod by police. There was evidence that he was carrying a blade.
Also, he sent his wife a John Deere letter.
But before lawn he was caught.
The man said “I just can't run no mower.”
The monks preserved
The monks preserved the History of Diarrhea in an Ill Loo Men Ated Manuscrapt.
Someday
I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."
One of them said, "So will you."
Tuscany is a s
Tuscany is a slum! Everyone lives in chianti-towns. And I don't mean to grape, but in some French regions, all the houses are bordeauxed up. What a bunch of vine-os – the lowest of the Merlot!Piano Tuner Visit
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.”
The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.”
The man replied, “I know, but your neighbors did.”
The robbery at the Saudi garment
The robbery at the Saudi garment factory was an inside hijab. He's Yahoo Old
Friend: "How old is your boyfriend?"
Me: "He's old, he has a Yahoo email address."
After a hard day's work,
After a hard day's work, Osama bin Laden likes to relax by applying ointments and a soothing bomb. Face Painting
When my wife was sleeping, I drew Mark Hamill on her forehead.
You should have seen the Luke on her face!
Matador
Matador: to install a door mat.
Half A Minute, Maybe
My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute.
Three Men
When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men.
He said he couldn't increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them.
Get Better Soon
I just got my boyfriend a 'get better soon' card.
He isn't sick, I just think he can get better.
Why was Blackbeard upset?
Why was Blackbeard upset when he misplaced his jars of urine?Because a pirate without p is irate.
Smiling can be difficult
Smiling can be difficult.It involves rearranging your basic frowndations.
Texas Traffic
I was on vacation in Texas, and was appalled by Dallas' chaotic traffic.
I asked the bellhop at the hotel why it was so disorderly.
"In some countries, they drive on the right, in others on the left. Here, we drive in the shade."
I Got Arrested
I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.
I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture, they said “yes.”
Charles Dickens was quite moved
Charles Dickens was quite moved after witnessing the foul, unhygienic conditions of the English workers. One time he saw a man spitting phlegm down a sewer, and was so disgusted that he wrote a novel about it: Grate Expectorations.My Brother, Taco
Alexander Graham Bell: “I invented the telephone!”
His brother, Taco: “I’m working on some pretty big stuff too.”
Light bulb designers
Light bulb designers aren't too bright. You always have to filament. 
When world was created
VP candidate Sarah claims to know that the world was created 6,000 years ago—but most Palin-ontologists would disagree. 
