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Short jokes - funny one liners (361 to 400)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 361 to 400. |
Last Thing I Want To Do
I told my girlfriend, "The last thing I want to do is break up with you... I have about five things on my list before I get there."
I got in line to watch Oppenhe
I got in line to watch Oppenheimer around lunchtime, but I realized it was three hours long and I was starving.So I went to the Barbie queue instead.
All the self-mutilators live i
All the self-mutilators live in Qatar.When I suggested that washing
When I suggested that washing your clothes in the toilet is a good idea, I was met with in crud dull a tee.NED: I'd like to form a
NED: I'd like to form a lynch mob.ED: I dunno, that's pretty extreme.
NED: Just think of the posse abilities…
Hobbled gynecologist
Hear about the hobbled gynecologist, who couldn't walk anywhere without crotches? Atkins dieters
Atkins dieters are now fighting climate change.They favour attacks on carbin'.
Here's Your Phone
After a recent college basketball game, the coach spotted a cell phone lying on the floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying, "Here's your phone."
"What makes you think its mine?" the ref asked.
"Easy," the coach replied. "It says you missed 13 calls!"
The Headache Suit
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. As her dad donned his tuxedo she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”
“And why not, darling?” he asked.
“You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”
The pornstar lost her job
The pornstar lost her job and filed for onanployment.Hear about the bored economist
Hear about the bored economist who went for a lapdance? When asked how he felt, he said “I hope the D pressin' never ends!”
Go for the Gold
Joan: "I'm looking for a golden anniversary gift for my husband."
Lisa: "But haven't you only been married fifteen years?"
Joan: "Yes, but it feels like fifty!"
Tina Turner's daughter
Tina Turner's youngest daughter has already been called to the bar. She's a teen attorney.Party-gal accelerator
Did you hear, the scientists behind Ecstasy drugs are now building a party-gal accelerator? That's Not Fare
Taxi driver: "That will be $3.50, please."
Passenger: "Oh dear, I'm afraid I'm a little short. Could you back up a little bit and make it $2.50, please?"
Documentary of affordable Midd
Documentary of affordable Middle Eastern housing: Low Rents of Arabia.Do hermaphrodites check their
Do hermaphrodites check their shemail?
Forget Christmas carols. It
Forget Christmas carols. It's time to perform Johann's arias, because today is Bach sing day.
Swear words
If you don't know any cool swear words, ask someone from an Ah – Frickin' country. When the rain fell
When the rain fell on our heads it was like glorious piss.So I quoted Shakespeare, saying “The sky is a most excellent can o' pee.”
Write a blog? I'm not
Write a blog? I'm not a post to that. #joke #short
Mobius strip
A Mobius strip walks into a bar crying. The bartender says: what's wrong buddy?The Mobius strip replies:
Oh, where do I even begin
