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Short jokes - funny one liners (4961 to 5000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4961 to 5000. |
Jim Gaffigan: Lazy for No Reason
You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor -- you ever just look at the letter and go, 'Hm, looks like they're never getting this. Takes too much energy to go outside.'#joke #short
Ethiopian dictator puns are...
Ethiopian dictator puns are Haile Selasscious.#joke #short
Can't Go Home Again
I went back to my home town a decided to visit the house I grew up in.
I ask the occupants if I could come inside. They said, 'No!'
My parents can be so grouchy some times.
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 57
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
#joke #short
Did Fred Astairero
Did Fred Astaire have to wipe delicately?#joke #short
Yo Mama Is So Tall
Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
#joke #short #yomama
I use particle physics textboo
I use particle physics textbooks as roof shingles, because I'm quantum-plating my existence.#joke #short
A man goes into a travel agent
A man goes into a travel agents and says that he wants to book a vacation in China."Peking?" asked the travel agent.
"No, I want to have a good look around."
#joke #short
I went back to my home town a
I went back to my home town a decided to visit the house I grew up in.I ask the occupants if I could come inside. They said, "No!"
My parents can be so grouchy some times.
#joke #short
“The poet wrote an od
“The poet wrote an ode about a tractor. It was a classic case of man verses machine.”
#joke #short
"I married an Irishman on St.
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day.""Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 02
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this... YOW!
#joke #short
People who lose control of the
People who lose control of their buttocks tend to squander their ass sets.#joke #short
Warren Buffett has sto
Warren Buffett has stocking feat.#joke #short
When humans are young, they ar
When humans are young, they are pushed around in strollers...When they are old, they are pushed around in wheelchairs...
In between, they are just pushed around...
#joke #short
The lisping accountant was alw
The lisping accountant was always bothered by thumb tacks increase or another.#joke #short
Q: What do you get when you cr...
Q: What do you get when you cross a fortune teller with a prostitute? A: A whoroscope.
#joke #short
TEACHER: Why are you late? <
TEACHER: Why are you late?STUDENT: Well, because class started before I got here.
#joke #short
My love for small sunbaked rod
My love for small sunbaked rodents is in tanned gerbil.#joke #short
“Husbands wedded to s
“Husbands wedded to shopaholic wives face severe economic downtown turns!”
#joke #short
Johnny: Teacher, can I go to t
Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?Teacher: Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: Okay, but I asked first!
#joke #short
Which mathematical sequence is
Which mathematical sequence is a lie? The Fibbin atcha series.#joke #short
“Once the pilot start
“Once the pilot started lying about his flying, he went into a tale spin.”
#joke #short
Forty-three percent of all Ame...
Forty-three percent of all Americans say that illegal immigration is a serious problem.The other 57 percent said, "No hablo ingles."
#joke #short
I always gain weight after a <
I always gain weight after a Fed increase.#joke #short
“If the lengths of al
“If the lengths of all planks on pirate ships are the same, is that plank's constant?”
#joke #short
A frustrated father told a wor
A frustrated father told a work colleague: "When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son's room, he has his own color TV, computer, games console, cell phone and CD player.""So what do you do?"
The father replied: "I send him to my room!"
Two bachelors...
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking,their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
'I got a cookbook once,' said one, 'but I could never do anything with it.'
'Too much fancy work in it, eh?' asked the other.
'You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way --
'Take a clean dish...''
#joke #short
“The hunter stir-frie
“The hunter stir-fried his game because he liked to wok on the wild side.”
#joke #short
