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Short jokes - funny one liners (4921 to 4960)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4921 to 4960. |
None of my tweets go viral. It
None of my tweets go viral. It's like that '80s movie, The Never-Trending Story.I didn't realize how bad of a...
I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation system said: "IN 400 FEET, DO A SLIGHT RIGHT, STOP, AND LET ME OUT."
Can U Read It
Briteesh destraayed avar kantry faar 150 earss. let uss destraay deree laangvedge foryever.... Do yit yand yenjaaay.... :-)Yeast aar Waist aavar caantry iss da BAIST!!!!!!!!!!
Uncovering A Scam
The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.
The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.
“Why do some people h
“Why do some people hate puns? Because they are laughtose intolerant!”
Last week our police station w
Last week our police station was broken into and the commode was stolen from the rest room.Yesterday the police reported that the investigation is ongoing but they still have nothing to go on.
“An abyss is not a pe
“An abyss is not a perfect example of a bottomless hole, it's just epitome.”
As a senior citizen was drivin
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!""Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Corporate Story
At a meeting, the Boss told a joke.
Everyone on the team laughed except one guy.
The Boss asked him, 'Didn’t you understand my joke?'
The guy replied, 'Oh I understood it, but I resigned this morning.'
“It was cold in the b
“It was cold in the bedroom so I laid down next to the wood-stove and slept like a log.”
The counselor was giving advic
The counselor was giving advice to a young man: "To gain self-confidence, you must avoid using negative words, such as CAN'T and NOT. Do you think you can do that?"The young man responded, "Well, I can't see why not."
A Dear John Letter
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.
“My wife kept insisti
“My wife kept insisting I do macrame. Finally I shouted, 'Knot again!'”
It Must Be Over
Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street.
'And where do you think you are going?'
Driver: 'I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is already coming back.'
Both Sides Of The Law
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree.
The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, 'Are you seriously hurt?'
'How should I know?' the man answers, 'I'm not a lawyer!'
“If you pay the ferry
“If you pay the ferryman before you get to the other side, don't be surprised if he Styx it to you.”
A little old man shuffled slow...
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."
How many mystery writers does
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?Two, one to put it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
A man in a hurry, taking his 8
A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited."Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing."
The Cockatoo Hair Academy is s
The Cockatoo Hair Academy is suffering from budgie cuts.What do you call procedure for
What do you call procedure for female-to-male transitioning? A: An append-dick-to-me.
Garbage day
A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
To this his friend responds "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
