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Short jokes - funny one liners (4881 to 4920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4881 to 4920. |
Amish carriage....
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand-painted sign that read, "Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. CAUTION: Do not step on exhaust."
How fat is Santa? Well, some p
How fat is Santa? Well, some people call him jolly old Saint Neckless.Pete Holmes: YouTube Comments by Teenagers
You shouldn't have a voice that reaches millions of people when you are that young and stupid because there is a record of that. Think about it. How is anyone ever going to run for president? Fifty years later it's just going to be a trial like, 'Senator O'Neil, who is oneilly19?'
How does one scoop ice cream?
How does one scoop ice cream? It's a matter of great cone sequence.“If you want to hear
“If you want to hear a quick comeback try walking away without paying.”
The math teacher saw that Daph...
The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class.She called on her and said, "Daphne! What are 2 and 4, and 28 and 44?"
Daphne quickly replied, "ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Hell is soular powered
Hell is soular powered.
A teacher was finishing up a l
A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?"One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the Garden of Eden?"
Does the Michelin Man get dres
Does the Michelin Man get dressed in evening a tire?Q u o t a b l e Q u o t e s
'The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine.'
-- Abraham Lincoln
“A construction worke
“A construction worker walks into a rebar, then he did it again.”
Kissing butt isn't so ba
Kissing butt isn't so bad. You have to consider all ass pecks.“When applicant numbe
“When applicant numbers to follow optometry were low, the School authorities decided to re-advertise, to dilate the pupils!”
While being serenaded in a che
While being serenaded in a cheesy Italian restaurant, you should behave accordionly.My son loves his bottle. The <
My son loves his bottle. The big glug.“When trying to curry
“When trying to curry favour with 16th Century French Protestants, it isn't what you know, it is Huguenot.”
There was this limo driver who
There was this limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer...All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
Renewable energy is a
Renewable energy is a fuel hardy endeavor.“The police officer b
“The police officer blamed his poor choice on arrested development but his superior told him that excuse was just a cop out.”
It was a baby mosquito's firs...
It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?"
The baby mosquito replied, "It went great, everyone was clapping for me!"
Trump's trying to force
Trump's trying to force a new one-sided trade deal on Canada and Mexico, aka HAFTA.“I think I'm going t
“I think I'm going to hire the same landscaper I used last year - he was really easy to get a lawn with.”
Always be yourself...
U
Always be yourself...Unless you can be a pirate...
in which case, DEFINITELY be a pirate!
Don't worry if you’
Don't worry if you're undead. You can still be zombody.“Sir Cumference built
“Sir Cumference built King Arthur's round table, and Sir Ramic Tile did the flooring.”
So what if I deleted you from
So what if I deleted you from my address book? You're taking it entirely out of contacts.
A Very Good Reason...
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is, he replied.... "Breakfast."
