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Short jokes - funny one liners (4841 to 4880)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4841 to 4880. |
A political candidate stood on
A political candidate stood on a platform and announced to the assembled crowd that he was going to fight radicalism, socialism, communism, and anarchism.One old man snorted and said, "I'll vote for you when you can do something about rheumatism."
#joke #short
Communicating at home
As my sister relaxed on the couch, her head comfortably leaning against the crook of her husband’s arm, her cell phone beeped.
She looked at her phone. It was a text message from her husband.
The message: 'Please Move.'
#joke #short
Hari Kondabolu: Mosh Pit at a Weezer Concert
A mosh pit at a Weezer concert is different from other mosh pits. A mosh pit at a Weezer concert is basically nerds bumping into each other and apologizing.#joke #short
Hear about the wig thief? He h
Hear about the wig thief? He had a hair owin' addiction.#joke #short
“After spending all d
“After spending all day grinding up tree bark and branches the worker was remarkably chipper afterwards.”
#joke #short
A Woman gets naked in front of
A Woman gets naked in front of her husband and asks: "What turns you on the most, my pretty face, my voluptuous bust or my sexy butt???He briefly looks her up and down and replies: "Your sense of humor."
#joke #short
What do you call Bill Gates wi
What do you call Bill Gates with hypothermia? A bluetoe-crat.#joke #short
For cheapskates, picking up th
For cheapskates, picking up the cheque can be de bill itating.#joke #short
In the early 1900s Italian imm
In the early 1900s Italian immigrants lived in spaghettos. But now that's all in the pasta.#joke #short
I love me some drunken Germans
I love me some drunken Germans. Buzzed Franzs forever!#joke #short
“While I was sitting
“While I was sitting on the bench I noticed a really pungent odor. No wonder they call it a pew.”
#joke #short
They Look Happily Married
“Now that looks like a happily married couple,” remarked the husband.
“Don’t be too sure, dear,' began the wife. 'They're probably saying the same thing about us.”
#joke #short
Are you missing your girlfrien
Are you missing your girlfriend? A lass and a lack!#joke #short
“Eager for some barga
“Eager for some bargains, she was itching to get to the flea market.”
#joke #short
Are you missing your girlfrien
Are you missing your girlfriend? A lass and a lack!#joke #short
Is Thomas the Tank Engine r
Is Thomas the Tank Engine trainsgendered?#joke #short
To find WMDs in Pyongyang, Tru
To find WMDs in Pyongyang, Trump will look under every nuke and Koreany.#joke #short
Three-way with the editor of W
Three-way with the editor of Wikileaks? Aka a Julian Assangewich.#joke #short
Nick Swardson: Quitting Marijuana
The whole first week, I thought I was psychic. I thought I had new powers all of a sudden, you know. I'd be like, 'Where are my keys? Oh, they're in my pocket.' How did I know that? Oh my gosh!#joke #short
Testicle bombs are an ever-pre
Testicle bombs are an ever-present threat in the Baltic states. But worrying about it too much can make you gonad.#joke #short
The people of Helsinki have ne
The people of Helsinki have never been a fan of Schubert's UnFinnish Symphony.#joke #short
“The blacksmith wasn\
“The blacksmith wasn't making much money but he forged ahead anyway.”
#joke #short
A teacher was asking her class
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
"'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow. And 'illegal' is a sick eagle."
#joke #short
When I retire I'm gonna
When I retire I'm gonna grow six more arms. I gotta keep myself octopied.#joke #short
The drug to make statistics co
The drug to make statistics courses less painful? ANOVACaine.#joke #short
Todd Barry: Summer School
I never understood the concept of summer school. The teacher's going to go up there and go, 'OK, class, you know that subject you couldn't grasp in nine months? We're going to whip it out in six weeks.'#joke #short
Halloween Handouts
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts
- Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
- Teeth removing Taffy
- Metamucil in a straw
- Ex-Lax Brownies
- Caramel Covered Zucchini
- Colored Crisco on a Stick
- Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
- Chocolate Covered Prunes
- A Handful of Red Man
- Anything that ticks!
Ritchie Valens song about terr
Ritchie Valens song about terrorism: ‘Allah Bomba'.#joke #short
