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Short jokes - funny one liners (4801 to 4840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4801 to 4840. |
The heart surgeon was also a t
The heart surgeon was also a talented ventricle ist.Somebody, please, tell me who
Somebody, please, tell me who Tony Miceli’s daughter is? I want Samanthas to my question.“I lost my rare deck
“I lost my rare deck of Tarot cards. I was sad. They cost me a fortune.”
Sheng Wang: Designated Driver
I recently went out with my girlfriend. I decided she was going to be the designated driver but I did not bother to tell her about my decision. I just went ahead and got crazy sloppy -- 'cause actions speak louder than gibberish.“I saw a shooting sta
“I saw a shooting star last night, that was all I could have wished for.”
Wyoming Crazy Law
Cheyenne
Answering Machine Message 50
Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance.
I'm tired of maintaining
I'm tired of maintaining a state of hypervigilance. You might say ambushed.Al Madrigal: Sketchy Waterfall
Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it's also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there's a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It's like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.“A quarter-acre of un
“A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot.”
What would you like for your birthday....
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."
"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
“The petroleum indust
“The petroleum industry is exploiting shale to extract fuel or a reasonable fracksimile.”
Overcharged? Sue for m
Overcharged? Sue for mal feesance.There was a pretty nurse named
There was a pretty nurse named Carol who broke her engagement to a doctor. She was explaining everything to a friend."Do you mean to say," exclaimed Cindy, "that the bum asked you to give back the ring and all his presents?"
"Not only that," said Carol, "he sent me a bill for 37 visits."
My friend Michael is a comedia
My friend Michael is a comedian who's donating his body to science. You might see him at Open Mike night.“Why don't they have
“Why don't they have mirrors at the self-checkout lines in the grocery stores? It doesn't reflect well on management.”
Special childrens rate...
A little child was in church for the first time and watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster said in a little voice loud enough for everyone to hear:
"Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."
Too Much Analysis
Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello."
The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."
Who was the fattest Corleone?
Who was the fattest Corleone? Freight-o.Emily Heller: Homeless Guy
A homeless guy asked me for a dollar the other day. And I was like, 'A dollar? How about 76 cents? Because that's how much a lady hobo would make doing the same job.'Answering Machine Message 171
Please hang up now if you would want to speak to Johan. Otherwise, please stay on the line to leave him a message.
Dwarves make excellent mathema
Dwarves make excellent mathematicians, gnome adder how small they are.“I collect vintage ti
“I collect vintage time pieces. When I see one I like at online auction, I put it on my watch list.”
21st Century Newspaper
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
'This is the 21st century,' she said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'.
I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him!
Maple syrup: What sap
Maple syrup: What sap with that?“I have written sever
“I have written several papers regarding weather effects. I saved them all in the cloud.”
Daniel Tosh: Blaming the Amish
Am I the only person who blames global warming entirely on the Amish? Are they not a constant reminder of how awful life would be without all this great technology? Every time I want to cut back and conserve on natural resources, I just look at the Amish and I'm like, 'F**k that.' Walter White went from teachin
Walter White went from teaching chem to teaching meth.GOP Promises – News from The Onion
GOP Promises Americans Will Be Able To Keep Current Medical Conditions If Obamacare Repealed.
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