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Short jokes - funny one liners (5281 to 5320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5281 to 5320. |
“There is no point in
“There is no point in going to an acupuncturist, if you don't pin your hopes on him for full recovery.”
#joke #short
I want to adopt a kid. The pro
I want to adopt a kid. The process is so slow. I wish it could happen foster.#joke #short
The French-Canadian lumberjack
The French-Canadian lumberjack cut his friend in half. He was accused of sawed-ami.#joke #short
I have a new nose. Tha...
I have a new nose. That's sniffty.#joke #short
I mixed up the cardi...
“I mixed up the cardiac resuscitation equipment with the lie detector, but I will de-fib you later.”
#joke #short
You need a lot of liquidity to
You need a lot of liquidity to break into the shartphone market.#joke #short
“My friend started te
“My friend started telling me skeleton puns. They were all very rib tickling.”
#joke #short
Thomas Hardy was a futurist.
Thomas Hardy was a futurist. He wrote Tesla of the Ubervilles.#joke #short
I didn't wear deodorant
I didn't wear deodorant in the Finnish capital and now I smell stinki.#joke #short
A Walking Economy
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."The friend asks, "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
#joke #short
The Central American economy &
The Central American economy … What Mexico?#joke #short
I bought a new watch, because
I bought a new watch, because tock is cheap.#joke #short
A wife was having trouble with...
A wife was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When she found a prominent gray hair in her bangs, she pointed to her forehead and asked her husband, "Oh no, have you seen this?""What?" he asked, "the wrinkles?"
#joke #short
When young, I decided to go to...
When young, I decided to go to Medical School. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who said SPINE are doctors today.
The rest of us went to flight school..
Castro was against neo-feudali
Castro was against neo-feudalism and for no-foodalism. Meanwhile Trudeau Fidels while Ottawa burns.#joke #short
Yo Mama Is So Hairy
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
#joke #short #yomama
I used to have a bad...
“I used to have a bad record with soap, but now my slate is clean.”
#joke #short
The skeptic had his VISA rejec
The skeptic had his VISA rejected. They said “Sorry sir, I'm afraid you have max doubt.”#joke #short
A fact-checker for the former
A fact-checker for the former VP candidate Sarah, aka a Palin-ontologist.#joke #short
They should shut down particle
They should shut down particle accelerators. I see no CERNible benefits.#joke #short
When the dictator of North Kor...
When the dictator of North Korea had a sex change, he also changed his name: Kim Un Hung. #joke #short
My mother says she never holds...
My mother says she never holds grudges but then will blindside you with something that happened years ago. Last week she said, "You know, you really hurt me on your birthday."
And I was like, "Which birthday was that?"
So she replied, "The first one. You have a really big head, you know."
If you overcook the lettuce-wr
If you overcook the lettuce-wrapped mutton, I'll burn ewe in a veggie.#joke #short
“A contest between ch
“A contest between church choirs is the battle of the choral see.”
#joke #short
Movie about the first female u
Movie about the first female umpire: Official Called Wanda.#joke #short
“Weight loss pills st
“Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.”
#joke #short #policeman
Pooping outdoors is usually a
Pooping outdoors is usually a spoor of the moment decision.#joke #short
Borrowing funds for kitchenwar
Borrowing funds for kitchenware can turn you into a zombie, aka The Wokking Debt. #joke #short
