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Short jokes - funny one liners (5481 to 5520)

Short jokes - funny one liners (5481 to 5520)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5481 to 5520.

“Religious vultures p

“Religious vultures prey for their food.”

#joke #short #food
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

“To win Olympic Gold

“To win Olympic Gold in cycling, you must put the pedal to the medal.”

#joke #short #sport #olympic
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #232 - Funny Photo Slideshow

I LANDED ON A RUSSIAN ATHLETE...

I LANDED ON A RUSSIAN ATHLETE AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW...
#joke #short #sport #athlete
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.58/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (12)

Mr Jones had a leak in the roo...

Mr Jones had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.
Mr. Jones scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!"
#joke #short #food #soup
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

“The food they serve

“The food they serve to guards can last for sentries.”

#joke #short #food
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

“If you want to keep

“If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control.”

#joke #short #animal #bird
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

“Due to Earth's stro

“Due to Earth's strong gravitational field, the cost of attaining escape velocity is exorbitant.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Two guys were out walking home

Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon.
"Man," the first guy said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's panties off!"
"What's the rush?" his buddy asked.
"The damn elastic in the legs is killing me!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.22/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (18)

 Answering Machine Message 83


Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak. This is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72...

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (9)

“When the homeless bu

“When the homeless burrowing rodent found a nice golf course, he decided to gopher it.”

#joke #short #sport #golf
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

As the storm raged, the captai...

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we're one short."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

“Exponential equation

“Exponential equations are a pain in my asymptote.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

My wife lost her credit card...

"My wife lost her credit card," the man told his friend.
"Have you informed the bank?"
"No, the thief is spending much less than she does!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

E.T.s eyes

Why are E.T.s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

“Don't be mean to nu

“Don't be mean to nuclear reactors, they might have a meltdown.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“High school grammar

“High school grammar books are parse for the course.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“A mother squid gave

“A mother squid gave birth and said, 'I had an inkling.'”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Good news and bad news....

A doctor enters into a patient's room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear.

The patient responds, "Doctor, give me the good news."

The doctor says, "Well we are gonna name a disease after you."

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

I used to work at a...

“I used to work at a knife factory, but then it got dull.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Adam and Eve had it good

Q. Why were Adam and Eve the happiest couple that's ever lived?

A. Because they didn't have in-laws!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.85/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (20)

“She only dated hairy

“She only dated hairy men, so I grew a beard to be hirsuter.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

IF YOU'RE PIZZA, AMAZON...

IF YOU'RE PIZZA, AMAZON, OR LEONARDO DICAPRIO I'M HOME
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Why can't you trust...

“Why can't you trust Satan's resume?
- The devil lies in the details.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

Kid's Prayer

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.

She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail."

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

“I control the weeds

“I control the weeds in my lawn with the help of my friend, Herby Side.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

How do you catch a s...

“How do you catch a skeleton?
- With a rib-cage.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Back 2 work, it's Monday

Back 2 work, it's Monday!
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (11)

A man walks up to a stranger i

A man walks up to a stranger in the street.
"Do you like pussy cats?" said the stranger.
"Yeah, I do," said the man. "But how did you know my name was Katz?"
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

“The skeleton was try

“The skeleton was trying tibia little humerus.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

“Why don't programme

“Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“I wrote a book about

“I wrote a book about birds. It flew off the shelf.”

#joke #short #animal #bird
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Judge: "Is there any reason yo

Judge: "Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?"
Juror: "I don't want to be away from my job that long."
Judge: "Can't they do without you at work?"
Juror: "Yes, but I don't want them to know it."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

“When notes get in tr

“When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“When you buy a cork

“When you buy a cork board, do you pay thumb tax?”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

WELCOME beware of wife kids an...

WELCOME beware of wife kids and pets are also shady husband is cool
#joke #short #animal #pet
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Mike Sorrentino got a boob job

Mike Sorrentino got a boob job. How do I know? Well, let's just say I keep a breast of The Situation.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

“A butter is an angry

“A butter is an angry goat.”

#joke #short #animal #goat #food #butter
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.83/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (12)

Whore Moan

How do you make a whore moan?

Don't pay her!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.44/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (9)

The reason there are so many p...

The reason there are so many problems between men and women is that they have such different views of sex and relationships.
Women want a relationship without the complication of unnecessary sex.
Men want sex without the complication of an unnecessary relationship.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (16)

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