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Short jokes - funny one liners (5521 to 5560)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5521 to 5560. |
Little Johnny and the math teacher...
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon Network!"
#joke #short
“She said she never s
“She said she never sat for the artist. The fact she is now being portrayed as a painted lady is a frame-up.”
#joke #short
Once my divorce was final, I w
Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license."Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired.
"No," I replied.
"Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."
“That butler isn't w
“That butler isn't wearing his false teeth. I thought undentured servitude was illegal.”
#joke #short
Giving a man his physical, a d...
Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey?""No."
"Do you play soccer?"
"No."
"Do you play any other physical sport?"
"Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife."
Knock Knock Collection 201
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zany!
Zany who?
Zany body home!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zebulon!
Zebulon who?
Zebulon to me!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zeke!
Zeke who?
Zeke and you shall find!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zinka!
Zinka who?
Zinka the ship!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zinnia!
Zinnia who?
Zinnia on TV - You look shorter!
#joke #short
A little old man shuffled slow
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids'
In the doctors office two pati...
In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake."
"A sponge!" exclaims the other. "Does it hurt much?"
"No...no pain at all," says the first, "but...boy, do I get thirsty!"
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in A
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?A: God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 26
You have reached the Business Automation voicemail system. We used to call it an answering machine, but this is a high-tech world and we're in a high-tech business, so we don't call it that any more. We wouldn't even if we could. So leave your message...
#joke #short
Sewage treatment plants have a
Sewage treatment plants have a lot of poo stenchial benefits.#joke #short
Who was the first species to m
Who was the first species to make dick jokes? Homo say penis was, in genital.#joke #short
An elderly couple was attendin...
An elderly couple was attending church services.About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, "I just silentlypassed gas - what do you think I should do?"
He replied, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
#joke #short
If you want to become a good m
If you want to become a good magician you ought to pocus on your craft.#joke #short
What is a question with a d...
Q: What is a question with a different answer every time you're asked? A: "What time is it?"
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 212
Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
#joke #short
A true tech support story...
Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now.'Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech Support: 'Well?'
Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?'
#joke #short
The magazine about c...
“The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.”
#joke #short
TV v. Computer
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in
like a computer.
#joke #short
"Knock, knock."
"Who's th
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Nobel."
"Nobel who?"
"No bell that's why I knocked."
#joke #short
Economist Valentines
Top economist Valentine's Day cards
4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm.
3. Let's raise housing starts together.
2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.
1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.
What's the favourite com
What's the favourite comic of the transgendered? EX-men.#joke #short
