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Short jokes - funny one liners (5641 to 5680)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5641 to 5680. |
Toothbrush
How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?
Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush.
Happiest day of your life...
Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."
Q: How do you catch a squirrel
Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.A policeman's eyes
A policeman pulls a man over.
"Sir," he says, "I noticed that your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
"Officer," responds the man, "I noticed that your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Your mama is so ugly that when
Your mama is so ugly that when I told her to do the robot, R2-D2 got herpes.Chinese virgins
Who are the three most famous Chinese virgins?
"Tu Yung Tu," "Tu Dum Tu" and "No Yen Tu!"
A man goes to the dentist and
A man goes to the dentist and says, "My teeth are kind of yellow, what do you recommend?"The dentist replies, "A brown tie!"
“There used to be lit
“There used to be little snow patches outside my house after a snowstorm. Whenever the sun came out, they had a melt down.”
A man was walking down the str
A man was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so the man ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"
Dear Pun Gents,
Dear Pun Gents,
I am new to roller derby, and 46 years old. Need a badass derby name. I love the gym (weight train), medieval dragons and fairies. I love Marvel and DC comics (Harley Quinn being a favorite villainess). I also ride a Harley of my own. ~Michelle, Casa Grande
All the proof she needs?
A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked: 'Will you buy booze?'
The bum said: 'No'
The man asked 'Will you gamble it away?'
The bum said: 'No.'
Then the man asked: 'Will you come home with me, so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?'
Pulling the fur over his eyes...
A fella was saying to his friend, "My wife seems to have developed some sort of fixation that her collection of fur coats will be stolen. When I came home early one day last week, I found she'd hired someone to *guard* them! In fact, she stationed the poor guy right inside the closet!"
“The museum curator w
“The museum curator was brilliant at judging sculptures and paintings. He displayed art official intelligence.”
Q: Why don't cannibals eat co
Q: Why don't cannibals eat comedians?A: They taste funny.
Good grades...
The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said...
"I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades.... somebody is going to get a spanking....".
Q: Why couldn't the leopard p
Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?A: Because he was always spotted.
“I keep walking metho
“I keep walking methodically back and forth. I have to learn to pace myself.”
“My watch broke yeste
“My watch broke yesterday, but I guess every clock has its time.”
Shopping cart
Why did God invent shopping carts?
To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Two old ladies sat on a bench
Two old ladies sat on a bench talking. One said to the other, "Good heavens! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!"The second lady replied, "It is a wig."
"Really?" exclaimed the first lady, "You could never tell!"
Q. Why do anime fans listen t
Q. Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?A. Because they enjoy car toons!
Things sure have changed...
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
