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Short jokes - funny one liners (7761 to 7800)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 7761 to 7800. |
@DSGermain - They say behind every strong man ...
They say behind every strong man, there’s a strong woman.
Well, behind every fuckup, there’s a best friend saying, “Go for it,...
@DSGermain
http://on.cc.com/1AHspdw
A gentleman entered a busy flo
A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read, "Say It With Flowers.""Wrap up one rose," he told the florist.
"Only one?" the florist asked.
"Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words."
Porcupine vs Ferrarri
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside...
Florists work for peon
Florists work for peonies.How do you tell the front of a tree?
How do you tell the front of a tree?
When someone has a piss behind it.
Q: Why did the computer lose i
Q: Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain?A: Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!!!!
Yannis Pappas - Nobody Wants to Have Kids
@yannispappas
Is it ironic when you think about it
that our parents and grandparents worked
so hard for us to have a better life,
and now we don't want to have kids
'cause we don't want them to ruin our life?
Watch the full clip here: http://on.cc.com/1vfPBSm
Yo mama's armpit is so hairy
Yo mama's armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.Puns are great. They are absol
Puns are great. They are absolutely phonemenal.Sex and athletics....
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.
In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
This morning as I was buttonin...
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off.
I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand.
Now I'm afraid to pee.
Gallagher opened the morning n
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Whereabouts are you callin' from?"
The closet
My friend keeps telling me I'm in the closet . . . I just say it's Narnia business!
Will Ferrell (July 16 1967-)
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm so indebted to her for.
WC Fields (1880-1946)
Picture: Perseus Book Group
Engineers & Light Bulbs
Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
If your friend says “Let
If your friend says “Let's have a sausage party”, you better prepare for the wurst.Two malls
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
Chris Rock (February 7 1965-)
Picture: AFP/Getty Images
Duct Tape
Q: What do The Force and duct tape have in common?
A: They both have a light side and a dark side, and they both hold the universe together.
Old and 18 yr old
An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers.
"Oh honey", said the young nymph, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?"
"No", said the old man, "It means you can take your pick."
I see an increase in prostitut
I see an increase in prostitution on the ho, risin'.“How did Mister Nucle
“How did Mister Nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall.”
Come forth and you shall receive eternal glory
And Jesus said unto Peter, "Come forth and you shall receive eternal glory"
But Peter came fifth, and won only a toaster.
I love the expression - A Number Of ...
I love the expression
"A Number Of ..."
Because it doesn't mean anything.
A number of Victoria Secret models have expressed interest in sleeping with me.
That number is zero.
"Dad, the career counselor sai
"Dad, the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study criminal law.""That is wonderful, son. I'm proud of you."
"He said I had a criminal mind."
Senior Citizen
You know you're a senior citizen when every time you leave your house...You have to go back because of something you forget.
