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Short jokes - funny one liners (7801 to 7840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 7801 to 7840. |
Pillsbury Doughboy
Q: What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
A: Doughnuts.
You know you're a senior citi
You know you're a senior citizen when every time you leave your house; you have to go back because of something you forget.If the US is but a shadow of i
If the US is but a shadow of its former self, does that make it A mere icon?Two Kinds of People
There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."Blind date....
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
"This little computer," said t
"This little computer," said the a sales clerk, "will do half your job for you."The senior manager studying the machine made his decision... "Fine, I'll take two."
“It was boring to lis
“It was boring to listen to the prisoner as he kept repeating how sorry he was for his crime. He was con trite.”
@DemetriMartin thinks tree houses are messed up. http://on.cc.com/1yivZ0N
A treehouse is really insensitive!
That is like killing something and then making one of his friends hold it.
http://on.cc.com/1yivZ0N
Language
A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away."See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
A corny talk on the farm...R
A corny talk on the farm...Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends?
And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
It doesn't get E
It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than Pearl Jam.Flight Test
During Flight School testing, a young pilot flew through a rainbow. He passed his test with flying colors.A man can sleep around
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers (1933-2014)
Picture: REX FEATURES
Someone stole my frock, but I
Someone stole my frock, but I shawl overcome.“The second hand cloc
“The second hand clock shop had to wind up business as time ran out!”
HANNIBAL BURESS - dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches
@hannibalburess http://on.cc.com/1BU4c7D
There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches.
Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache.
But don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache.
I finally have the body I want
'I finally have the body I want. It's easy, actually, you just have to want a really sh-tty body.'
Louis CK (1967-)
Picture: Rex
“After Thanksgiving d
“After Thanksgiving dinner, I was as stuffed as a turkey!”
Canada is the most popular thi
Canada is the most popular thing on Facebook. It has millions of lakes!
My wife is an angel
My wife is an angel.
All my friends are jealous because their wives are still alive.
Yo mama so stupid, she returne
Yo mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.Census...
Census Taker: 'How many children do you have?'Woman: 'Four.'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.'
Ambitions
'I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink and be Mary.'
George Carlin(1937-2008)
Picture: AP
