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Short jokes - funny one liners (7961 to 8000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 7961 to 8000. |
The jet crashed into the ocean
The jet crashed into the ocean. It's plane to sea.Is There A Way To Thank You?
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles."My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."
“I take pictures of t
“I take pictures of trees and plants while the sun is out. It really emphasizes photosynthesis.”
Yo momma is so stupid when I t
Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Men And Computers
Q: Why are men like computers?A: As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer you couldn't have gotten a better model!
A man sits down at a restauran
A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu. He tells the waiter, "I think I'll have the turtle soup."The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind and decides to have pea soup. He yells to the waiter, "Hold the turtle, make it pea."
Bob Peters
A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his head inside and asked, "Bob Peters here?"
The barber replied, "Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts."
When ungulates are making head
When ungulates are making headlines, must be a slow gnus day.
Santa accessed someones facebook account
Somebody forgot to set his privacy settings.... Think this is how he got the red nose? Answering Machine Message 260
Now I lay me down to sleep;
Leave a message at the beep.
If I die before I wake,
Remember to erase the tape.
Applicant at interview
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
I adopted my child–in ca
I adopted my child–in case it wasn't a parent.“I went to go see the
“I went to go see the movie 'Shrek' last weekend, it was so ogre rated.”
Christmas tree and an iPad
Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A: A pineapple.
Yo momma is so short, when she
Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"Don't ask me about bridg
Don't ask me about bridges! It's like the spannish inquisition.
Barney
Just think, in a few million years Barney will be motor oil.“After a berry succes
“After a berry successful attempt to produce a new line of crops, her dreams came to full fruition.”
What do you call people who ar...
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? - Claustrophobic.
The Secret to Speed
Plane: How do you fly so fast?
Rocket: You'll know when your ass is on fire.
The Buddha's Vacuum Cleaner
Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa?A: Because he didn't have any attachments.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack s
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.The Giant with Diarrhea
Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
It's all over town.
If pro is the opposite of con,
If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress? - Congress!
Xenophobic vampires are ron
Xenophobic vampires are foreign neck haters.Choose A Punishment
A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge said, "What will you take....30 days or $30."
The man replied, "I think I'll take the money."
Stupid Terrorist
A couple of terrorist were making letter bombs. After they had finished, one said: “Do you think I put enough explosive in this envelope?“I don’t know,” said the other. “Open it and see.”
“But it will explode.”
“Don’t be stupid! It’s not addressed to you!
