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Short jokes - funny one liners (8041 to 8080)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8041 to 8080. |
Two drunks are sitting in a ba...
Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."Ultimate rejection
What's the ultimate rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Computer Programmer
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A. None. That's a hardware issue.
“He's got a phonograp...
“He's got a phonographic memory. He repeats the exact same old lines like a scratched record.”
Q: How do astronomers organize...
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?A: They planet.
Q. How many programmers does i...
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A. None. That's a hardware issue.
“The carpenter came r...
“The carpenter came round the other day, he made the best entrance I have ever seen.”
Q: What do you call a Filipino...
Q: What do you call a Filipino contortionist?A: A Manila folder.
Q & A
A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...Who is driving the car?
A police officer!
“The doors just broke...
“The doors just broke, I could fix it, but it hinges on other things.”
Late one night, a preacher was...
Late one night, a preacher was driving on a country road and had a wreck. A farmer stopped and said, "Sir, are you okay?" The preacher said, "Yes, I had the Lord riding with me." The farmer said, "Well, you better let him ride with me, because you're gonna kill him."“He sold a batch of r...
“He sold a batch of release spray to someone in jail but it was just a silly-con.”
Visit to the museum...
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.
"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"
"No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
Wafo dis Check
A black woman in Chicago was admitted to the hospital for an abortion.Two weeks later she received a check for $1,500.
She phoned the hospital to ask who it was from.
The hospital said "Crime Stoppers"
“Murder with knives i...
“Murder with knives is very messy, and I suggest not taking a stab at it.”
“The forest had burne...
“The forest had burned down, but now it's back by poplar demand.”
Astronaut
What do you call a man who doesn't cheat on his wife when he is away on business?
An astronaut!
Little Johnny
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'
I met a one-legged woman outsi...
I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.A Darkened Theater
A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"
Investment Opportunity
I thought you might want to consider getting on board early for this investment opportunity.An Engineer friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.
He's making land mines that look like prayer mats.
He is doing very well.
He says prophets are going through the roof.
“Deep cuts were made ...
“Deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.”
