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Short jokes - funny one liners (8281 to 8320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8281 to 8320. |
“The forest had burne...
“The forest had burned down, but now it's back by poplar demand.”
Astronaut
What do you call a man who doesn't cheat on his wife when he is away on business?
An astronaut!
Little Johnny
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'
I met a one-legged woman outsi...
I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.A Darkened Theater
A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"
Investment Opportunity
I thought you might want to consider getting on board early for this investment opportunity.An Engineer friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.
He's making land mines that look like prayer mats.
He is doing very well.
He says prophets are going through the roof.
“Deep cuts were made ...
“Deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.”
“He was so skinny, hi...
“He was so skinny, his shoulder-blade kept cutting his shirts.”
Instead of "the John," I call ...
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.“When I opened the fi...
“When I opened the first snow-pea pod, one fell out and rolled under the fridge. One might say it was an escapea.”
Geraniums....
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
“When the drummer mov...
“When the drummer moved back in next door there were many repercussions.”
Your mamma so fat she uses a m...
Your mamma so fat she uses a mattress as a maxi pad.Yo mamma is so stupid!
Yo momma is so stupid when she went to a 24 hour store she asked what time does it close.
Good news...bad news...
"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client.
"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."
"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is down to 140!"
After drinking, Men talk unnec...
After drinking, Men talk unnecessarily, Become emotional,Drive badly, Stop thinking, Fight for nothing
Women can do all these without drinking!
A wife got so mad at her husba...
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
We're ambitious about pu...
We're ambitious about puns! We've got plans to corny the market.Pigmy rapist
What do you call a pigmy rapist?
A little fucker about 3 feet tall!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
The first-time father, beside ...
The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right."So, tell me, Nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?"
Where are children most snug i...
Where are children most snug in bed? Kentucky.“I bought a ton of st...
“I bought a ton of staples and pushpins all for $3.99, plus tacks.”
