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Short jokes - funny one liners (8361 to 8400)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8361 to 8400. |
Banging
My bloody rude neighbour came over banging on the door at 2.00am last night.
.........Luckily I was still up playing my drums!!
Hat Tip > Roland
There is no smoking in my mens...
There is no smoking in my menswear store. Clothes, but no cigar.Is It?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?Wife: "Our new neighbor always...
Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."
Better Than Botox?
Q. What's the name of a face lotion developed for Jewish women?A. Oil of Oy Vey
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee
Waiting to get on a plane make...
Waiting to get on a plane makes me boarder line crazy.Success
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!Yo momma is so fat she uses a ...
Yo momma is so fat she uses a pillow for a tampon.A Prayer Upon Waking
Dear God, so far today, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper.I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I'm really glad of that!
But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot of help.
Thank you! Amen.
Teacher: "Kids,what does the c...
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
I Only Ordered A Double
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
Dating a Nun
Dating a Nun Did you hear about the guy who tried to date a nun?He wanted to take her to the county fair, but she declined on account of she had taken a vow abstaining from Carnival pleasures.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeerLover
What do you do?
"What do you do?" a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. "I'm a nurse."
"I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me," he whispered in her ear.
"That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward."
Q: Did you hear about the Budd...
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal?A: His goal: transcend dental medication.
Cleaner unhappy
Why was the cleaner unhappy with his job?Because he believed that grime didn't pay!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
April Fools' Day Pranks - Picture This
Take a screenshot of the desktop of Dad's computer, and leave the image open. Sit back and let him freak out for a few minutes, believing the computer is frozen. Encyclopedias for Sale
Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?
A: He didn't need them any longer -- his damn wife knows everything.
Big ethical dilemma
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it was stuck to another $100 bill.
On seeing the two bills stuck together, the ethical question came to the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"
Check the E-mail Address
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.
The e-mail reads:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Saddam & Fred
How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?Both use to look out their windows and see Rubble.
“Global warming campa...
“Global warming campaigners lament the invention of the infernal combustion engine.”
Thermometer
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.
“The historian loves ...
“The historian loves reading about bobcats. They are lynx to the past.”
