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Short jokes - funny one liners (8401 to 8440)

Short jokes - funny one liners (8401 to 8440)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8401 to 8440.

You Might Be In A Redneck Hotel

You know you're in a redneck hotel when you phone the front office and say, "I've got a leak in the sink."

And they say, "Go ahead!"

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (11)

“I was too busy drink...

“I was too busy drinking to notice that all my cigarettes had gone ashtray.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.56/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (9)

SLIDESHOW #155 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Yo Mama is so fat, when she pr...

Yo Mama is so fat, when she pressed the UP button on the elevator it went DOWN.
#joke #short #yomama
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.70/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (10)

Tell Me About Your Circuit Breaker

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but it takes five sessions.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.43/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (7)

“The lazy musician wa...

“The lazy musician was told to shake allegro or make himself scherzo.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Two quick ones...

Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac? He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

----------

Did you hear about the new restaurant that just opened up on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.

#joke #short #food
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

At the doctor's office, Tom wa...

At the doctor's office, Tom was getting a check up. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is you have 24 hours left to live." Tom replies, "That's the good news?!" Then the doctor says, "The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday."
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (8)

Introduce lawyers

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.

"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.

Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.71/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (7)

Q: What's the definition of mi...

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

“On my chicken farm, ...

“On my chicken farm, I own the birds scratching around on the ground in the barn, but I am paying off the ones sitting on the roosts - they are on higher perches.”

#joke #short #animal #bird #chicken
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

“What was the leader ...

“What was the leader of Russia's favourite food? Czardines!”

#joke #short #food
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.75/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (4)

Yo momma so fat her belly butt...

Yo momma so fat her belly button made it to her house 15 minutes before she did.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (3)

Square Balls

Q: Did you hear about the guy with square balls?
A: He had cubic hairs.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (3)

The Salvation Army

A drunk went into a telephone booth and dialled at random..

"Salvation Army" came the answer.

"What do you do?"

asked the man.

"We save wicked men and women," came the reply.

"Well, save me a wicked woman for Saturday night."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

“The President of the...

“The President of the Ennui Club was chairman of the bored.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (3)

Old Man: "Are you the young fe...

Old Man: "Are you the young fellow who sold me this tube yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?"
Clerk: "Yes sir."
Old Man: "Well, I tried for half an hour this morning and I couldn't get my teeth to stick in."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

Spider Diet

What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?

Burgers and flies.

#joke #short #food #burger
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (6)

“Slimmers are all los...

“Slimmers are all losers.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.18/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (11)

One blonde was on one side of ...

One blonde was on one side of the river and there was another blonde on the other side of the river. One blonde yells to the other blonde, "How do you get to the other side?" and the other blonde yells back, "You are on the other side!"
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Snake Bite

I hope I'm not poisonous, says the first snake.
"Why?" asks the second snake.
"Because I just bit my lip."

#joke #short #animal #snake
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (5)

Non-Conformist

You can always tell a man who is a non-conformist, because

he looks just like every other non-conformist.

---Anon

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

Cats

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 6.93/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (14)

“When his wife demand...

“When his wife demanded that he give up polo, he decided to chukker.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (7)

Q: Why do museums have old din...

Q: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
A: Because they cant afford new ones.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

Police arrested two kids yeste...

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
#joke #short #policeman #food #eating
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (3)

Singles

"I met my wife at a singles' bar."

"Really?"

"I thought she was home with the kids."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Television From Iraq


Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq

  1. "Husseinfeld"
  2. "Mad About Everything"
  3. "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
  4. "Suddenly Sanctions"
  5. "Allah McBeal"
  6. "Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
  7. "Achmed's Creek"
  8. "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
  9. "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
  10. "Just Shoot Me"


Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (3)

Yo mama so black, I shot at he...

Yo mama so black, I shot at her and the bullet came back and asked for a flashlight
#joke #short #yomama
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (4)

Siamese Twins

Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
A: So the other one could drive.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (7)

“The fruit farmer is ...

“The fruit farmer is berry competitive in his field.”

#joke #short #fruit
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

Teacher: "Kids,what does the c...

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
#joke #short #animal #pig #cow #chicken #food #meat #bacon
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

Answering Machine Message 187


Hello, we are all currently home, but someone stole our phone... And the recording tape from this answering machine. So you can't reach us until we either find a phone or get a tape. If you had to waste a quarter on this call... Sorry.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

“With copper unavaila...

“With copper unavailable, continued operation of the mint would make no cents.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (6)

Sex-Obsessed Blonde

Q: Why do some blondes only think about sex?

A: They're dirty blondes.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 2.45/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (11)

“I gave my stressed o...

“I gave my stressed out feline too much elixir. Now it's catatonic.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were hunting buffalo one day to no avail. Tonto jumps off his horse, puts his ear to ground and says, "Buffalo come." The Lone Ranger asks, "How do you know that?" Tonto replies, "Ear sticky."
#joke #short #animal #horse #buffalo #sport #hunting
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (4)

Say What Again?

Did you hear about the blonde who didn't catch the joke?

It went over her head!

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.64/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (11)

Does it hurt when you do this?

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Well, don't do that.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (9)

“In-laws are merger a...

“In-laws are merger acquisitions.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?...

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (6)

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