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Short jokes - funny one liners (8481 to 8520)

Short jokes - funny one liners (8481 to 8520)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8481 to 8520.

Paris Native

Q: What's a native of Paris called?

A: A parasite.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

What Did You Learn?

Susie came home from her first day at school.

Her mother said, "Well, Honey, what did you learn today?"

"Not enough, I guess....They want me to come back again tomorrow."

#joke #short #food #honey #mother
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #238 - Funny Photo Slideshow


Q: What did the windmill...


Q: What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star?
A: "Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FAN!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (3)

“The student had such...

“The student had such a big assignment, he had to burn his kindle at both ends.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

What do you call a Mexican wit...

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Politically Speaking

"My uncle ran for Senate last year."

"Really? What does he do now?"

"Nothing. He got elected."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Kodak

What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?

Both capture the moment.

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Yo mama so black when she goes...

Yo mama so black when she goes outside the streetlights turn on.
#joke #short #yomama
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.14/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (7)

A mushroom walks into a bar an...

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, didn't you read the sign? It says 'No mushrooms!'" The mushroom replies, "C'mon man, I'm a fungi!"
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

“I was terrified anae...

“I was terrified anaesthetising my first big cat, but I had to feel the fur and do it anyway.”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Quickie

Q: What do you call a one-man quickie?

A: A yankee.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Fishing on the Ark...

A Sunday School teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he with just two worms?"

#joke #short #animal #worm #sport #fishing
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.82/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (11)

“My trip to the Grand...

“My trip to the Grand Canyon cost a hole lot of money and gorged my bank account butte it was worth it!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (5)

Racists & Light Bulbs

Q: How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They don't want to be enlightened.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.80/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (5)

The black eye...

Mr. Bailey saw his son's shiner and demanded, "Scott, who gave you that black eye?"

"No one gave it to me dad," replied the spunky lad. "I had to fight for it."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

“The tap dancer's rou...

“The tap dancer's routine ran hot and cold.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

Q: How do you make a tissue da...

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

“Funniness and clever...

“Funniness and cleverness have always been two notable factors for rating puns, but the third has groan in significance.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.60/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (5)

Your momma is so stupid she pu...

Your momma is so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (5)

Caskets

Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?

A: "Is that you coughin'?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.80/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (5)

“I tried talking abou...

“I tried talking about our future but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Chaste N*dist

A young woman goes to her doctor and finds out that she is pregnant.

She says, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are n*dists from my colony, and we only practice sex with our eyes."

The doctor replies, "Someone in that colony must be cockeyed."

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Light travels faster than soun...

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (2)

Why can't you hear rabbits mak...

Why can't you hear rabbits making love? Because they have cotton balls.
#joke #short #animal #rabbit
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.25/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (8)

Chicken on the Field

Q: Why did the chicken run onto the football field?

A: Because the umpire called a foul.

#joke #short #animal #chicken #sport #football
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (2)

Why do blondes like

Why do blondes like tilt steering? More headroom

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (6)

“To use a computer to...

“To use a computer to prospect for gold, you need to downlode.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (6)

Your lips are so chapped, I ca...

Your lips are so chapped, I can hear you smile.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (43)

Blind Skydivers

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?

A: It scares the crap out of their seeing-eye dogs.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (4)

“The artist's favorit...

“The artist's favorite swimming technique was the brushstroke.”

#joke #short #sport #swimming
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (5)

Yo mama so stupid, she went to...

Yo mama so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
#joke #short #doctor #yomama
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (4)

Black & White & Red

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: An embarassed zebra!

#joke #short #animal #zebra
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (4)

Birthday surprise...

Jane was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it.

"I'm taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God." the little girl replied.

"He'll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“My elderly aunt love...

“My elderly aunt loves telling jokes while she knits. She is a real knitwit.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (5)

Q: Did you hear about the kidn...

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: It's okay. He woke up.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (3)

“Is a group of finger...

“Is a group of fingerprints considered to be a whorl pool?”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (4)

Q: Why cant you hear a pteroda...

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.75/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (4)

Bad Boomerang

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A: A stick.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (7)

“Tubeless is a produc...

“Tubeless is a product of tireless effort!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

What do you give a deaf fisher...

What do you give a deaf fisherman? A herring aid.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

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