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Short jokes - funny one liners (8881 to 8920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8881 to 8920. |
Men are like a pack of Cards...
Men are like a pack of Cards:A "heart" to love them
A "diamond" to marry them
A "club" to smack them and
A "spade" to bury the body...
Short funny jokes-The workshop
Tina : Can you tell the Secret for a successful marriage?
Sara: You tell.
Tina: It's "The Work-Shop". The husband works while the wife shops!
Wake up, Stand up
A woman wakes up one morning and open the blinds. Her husband, half-awake, says, "Close those blinds, those little boys over the road can see my naked body." The woman replies, "If those little boys saw your naked body, they'd close their blinds."
Knock Knock Collection 082
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hardy!
Hardy who?
Hardy ha ha!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Harlow!
Harlow who?
Harlow will you go!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Harmon!
Harmon who?
Harmon on your side!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Harold!
Harold who?
Harold are you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Harriet!
Harriet who?
Harriet it up!
“When you purchase st...
“When you purchase stuff south of the border, you don't Peso much.”
“What part of the Uni...
“What part of the United States produces the largest number of cardiologists? The heartland.”
Chemistry puns
A: Na
~~~~~~~
That was a bad chemistry joke because all the good ones Argon.
“The dermatologist wa...
“The dermatologist was an avid gardener but he had a problem with moles.”
“As the farmer passed...
“As the farmer passed the gorgeous woman he did everything he could to a tractor attention.”
Greeting the Queen
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?
A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
Burglar
"Get this." said the English bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
"Did he get anything?" his mates asked.
"Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."
12 days of christmas
Sung to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas"12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin tickets
10 Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 pack of Redman
6 cans of spam
5 FLANNEL SHIRTS....
4 big mo tires
3 shotgun shells
2 hunting dogs
and parts to a Mustang GT...
Childless Psychics
Q: Why can't psychics have children?
A: Because their husbands have crystal balls.
Write this one down
Knock, knock
Who's there?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.
Halloween Handouts
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts
- Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
- Teeth removing Taffy
- Metamucil in a straw
- Ex-Lax Brownies
- Caramel Covered Zucchini
- Colored Crisco on a Stick
- Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
- Chocolate Covered Prunes
- A Handful of Red Man
- Anything that ticks!
Break in....
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "We had $100 when we broke in!"
Restaurant jokes-Conversation
First diner: "I don't like the chief of the Nakoda tribe!"
Second diner: "Ok then, just eat the vegetables."
Rattlesnake vs. Flaccid...
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
“Have you ever tried ...
“Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.”
Proctologists and Bartenders
Q: What's the difference between a proctologist and a bartender?
A: The proctologist only handles one a**hole at a time.
Sign of the times...
A woman met her husband at the train station after work for the ride home. He looked haggard, so she asked, "Rough day?"
"You bet it was," he groaned. "Our computers were down, and we had to think all day long."
“The stripper was get...
“The stripper was getting tired of the same old thong and dance.”
“Even though the chef...
“Even though the chef's girlfriend was grate in many ways. She had a temper that boiled easily, was half-baked and extremely kneady.”
