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Short jokes - funny one liners (10881 to 10920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10881 to 10920. |
Degrees....
The graduate with a science degree asks,'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
I like your approach… let’s se...
I like your approach… let’s see your departure.#joke #short
The Bermuda Triangle used to b...
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.#joke #short #chuck-norris
A man shows up for his doctor'...
A man shows up for his doctor's appointment with a piece of celery in each ear and a carrot in each of his nostrils. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." Whereupon the doctor replied," Perhaps you're not eating right."Candy factories rely on ron...
Candy factories rely on sweet shop labour.#joke #short
Chuck Norris played Russian Ro...
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.#joke #short #chuck-norris
A man shows up for his doctor'...
A man shows up for his doctor's appointment with a piece of celery in each ear and a carrot in each of his nostrils.He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well."
Whereupon the doctor replied, "Perhaps you're not eating right."
Funny jokes-Moose from Canada
A Scotsman paying his first visit to a zoo stopped by one of the cages "An' whut animal would that be ?" he asked the keeper.
"That's a moose from Canada", came the reply.
"A moose !!", exclaimed the Scotsman. "Hoots, mon, if that's a moose then they must ha' rats the size of elephants over there !"
"That's a moose from Canada", came the reply.
"A moose !!", exclaimed the Scotsman. "Hoots, mon, if that's a moose then they must ha' rats the size of elephants over there !"
Air-traffic controllers are
Air-traffic controllers are plane spoken. #joke #short
#joke #short
If you spell Chuck Norris in S...
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Donald Glover: Crazy Men Stories
Why dont women have crazy men stories? I dont really hear them. And then I realized, its because if you got a crazy boyfriend, youre going to die. Just something about men, the second they realize theyre crazy, its like, Time to kill everything I love. #joke #short
Writing a symphony is a ron...
Writing a symphony is a draw note process.#joke #short
Chuck Norris wrote every singl...
Chuck Norris wrote every single edition of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. He wrote them all under pennames to hide the fact that they are autobiographical.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Craig Ferguson: Married Again
Got married again and I went on the Internet to see how happy everyone was for me. F**king hell, it was awful. One woman... she said, Married again, eh? Shes a user and hes a pervert. And Im like, How do they know us?#joke #short
Tires And Sex
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?--One is a Goodyear and one is a great year
#joke #short
Fairy tales...
When Chelsea Clinton was eight, Hillary was reading one of her favorite fairy tales.
"Mommy," asked Chelsea, "Do all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon a Time...?""
"No, dearest," replied Hillary, "sometimes they start with 'Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight...'"
#joke #short
Dear Pun Gents...
Dear Pun Gents, I'm looking for a bowling team name for a party where my girlfriend is turning 50. ~Mel, Del Rio, TX#joke #short
Chuck Norris recently added "m...
Chuck Norris recently added "moose" to his list of "animals that tried to fight me and lost."Gabriel Iglesias: Looking for a Pregnancy Test
I dont even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. Im looking at all the aisles -- they dont have one that says oops. #joke #short
There is no Ctrl button on Chu...
There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. #joke #short #chuck-norris
Really funny jokes-For a million dollars
"You wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would you?", asked the cuddling wife.
"Don't be ridiculous", said the husband. "How am I gonna raise a million dollars?"
"Don't be ridiculous", said the husband. "How am I gonna raise a million dollars?"
#joke #short
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he...
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
My car is so fast the payments...
My car is so fast the payments are three months behind.#joke #short
Funny jokes-Debit fee
'The people beat Bank of America, who withdrew their $5 debit fee. Instead, the bank is going to replace that with a $60 annual fee."
-Jay Leno
-Jay Leno
#joke #short
Dan Naturman: Gift Certificates
Ive never understood the concept of the gift certificate because for the same $50 bucks, [my friend] couldve gotten me $50 bucks.#joke #short
My expensive car got stuck in ...
My expensive car got stuck in the mud. I know what you're thinking: Porsche muck.#joke #short
Splenda sales are up because C...
Splenda sales are up because Chuck Norris has no Equal.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Walking economy...
A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."
His friend replies, "How's that?"
"It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression."
#joke #short
Ungulate perfumes tend to be a...
Ungulate perfumes tend to be a gnu scents.#joke #short
Chuck Norris beat Ray Charles ...
Chuck Norris beat Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest. At the same time.#joke #short #chuck-norris
There is no chin under Chuck N...
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Hilarious Humor About The Irish
"And how's yer wife, Pat?"
"Sure, she do be awful sick."
"Is ut dangerous she is?"
"No, she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!"
"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!"
"Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"
#joke #short
If you're going to insul...
If you're going to insult Greece, be diss Crete.#joke #short
