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Short jokes - funny one liners (10841 to 10880)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10841 to 10880. |
I used to live in a tarp; that...
I used to live in a tarp; that was the ex-tent of my housing.#joke #short
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauc...
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.#joke #short #chuck-norris
A secretary walked into her bo...
A secretary walked into her boss's office & said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.""Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained.
"Tell me some good news for once."
"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary.
"You're not sterile."
#joke #short
What does Santa say in Novembe...
What does Santa say in November? Mo Mo Mo.#joke #short
The grass is always greener on...
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Sweep The Floor
Your first job will be to sweep the floor.
But I'm a college student the young man replied.
In that case give me the broom - I'll show you how.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris once ate an entir...
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. #joke #short #chuck-norris
Kumail Nanjiani: Racist Comebacks
Most of the people who are racist to me are white, and its very tricky to try and be racist to white people. What am I going to be, like, Oh, Im Kumar? Well, youre the lead in most movies that come out.#joke #short
Kim Kardashia...
Kim Kardashian made off with a stolen auto. When cops found her, there was copious junk in her trunk. And the rack was overloaded.#joke #short
Chuck Norris' lucky number is ...
Chuck Norris' lucky number is one, because that's how many tries it takes him to accomplish any task.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Adam Ferrara: Love This Girl
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me. #joke #short
Noblemen don&...
Noblemen don't take any crap.#joke #short
In the Words of Julius Caesar,...
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Bobby Miyamoto: On Vicodin
Im on Vicodin right now cause I got my wisdom teeth pulled -- like, eight months ago.#joke #short
Marriage Certificate
Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband : Nothing. Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' Husband : 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
#joke #short
After my friend and I underwen...
After my friend and I underwent painful foreskin removal - we found ourselves in strange circum stances#joke #short
In the back of the Guinness Bo...
In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states "All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris' records." #joke #short #chuck-norris
A bus station is where a bus s...
A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.
Now you know why they call it a workstation!
#joke #short
Jo Koy: My Inspiration
A lot of people are wearing t-shirts with pictures of people that inspire them to do stuff. I wear a picture of my son cause no one inspires me to work harder than my son. Its also a constant reminder to wear a condom. #joke #short
Ringless
Q. What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring? A. A thief!#joke #short
Which one picked it up?
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.
Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star...
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...as the Force.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Too Much Analysis
Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello."
The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."
#joke #short
When the college dormitory tam...
When the college dormitory tampon machine broke, they declared a coed red.#joke #short
Chuck Norris once broke the la...
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Andre Kelley: Adult Table
This was a really, really big year for me. I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults table. Thats cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.#joke #short #thanksgiving
Chuck Norris can make snow ang...
Chuck Norris can make snow angels on a concrete slab.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Nurse: Good morning Mr. S...
Nurse: Good morning Mr. Smith, you seem to be coughing much more easily this morning.Mr. Smith: Thats because Ive been practicing all night.
#joke #short
Greg Behrendt: I Love to Eat
I love to eat. Thats why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I dont walk away from a meal hurting, I didnt do it right. If I dont walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like Ive been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didnt do it right.New household cleaner
Did you hear about the new household cleaner just put on the market?
It's called "Bachelor."
Why?
Because it works fast, and leaves no ring.
#joke #short
I bought a castle from a fat n...
I bought a castle from a fat nobleman. I heard I could get a hefty viscount.#joke #short
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minut...
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.#joke #short #chuck-norris
