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Short jokes - funny one liners (11881 to 11920)

Short jokes - funny one liners (11881 to 11920)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11881 to 11920.

Dear Pun Gents...

Dear Pun Gents, I'm doing a charity for the Special Olympics; I'm gonna jump in a frozen lake. I need a team name. Something with “goal” in it. ~Tiffany, Belleville, MI
#joke #short #sport #olympic
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (4)

Why are there no Christmas-the...

Why are there no Christmas-themed breath fresheners?  Anyone else out there share these santa-mints?
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #215 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Brian Regan: New Baby Greeting Cards

They have a section called, New Baby. I dont think you need the word new. Theyd have to clear up confusion. Do you have an Old Baby section? Cause my friends had a baby, and I let time get away from me, and hes 12.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.53/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (47)

Man: (to woman) I'd buy you a ...

Man: (to woman) I'd buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the glass.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Gays in the lumberjack industr...

Gays in the lumberjack industry? It's ‘don't axe, don't fell.'
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (7)

Todd Barry: Hitting on Waitresses

People ask me all the time, Todd, when youre on the road at these comedy clubs, do you hit on the waitresses? People, Im a professional, and I have a policy. I will not hit on the wait staff until every opportunity in the audience has been exhausted.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.70/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (10)

Fascism was heil-ly popular in...

Fascism was heil-ly popular in its day.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Godfrey: Regular Black

My black friends in America dont believe me. I said, Dude, Im Nigerian American. Word? We thought you were, like, regular black. What the hell is regular black? Crayola coming out with colors I dont know about?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.56/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (9)

Quote from Mr. TP: “r...

Quote from Mr. TP: “I pity the stool.“
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (6)

Great news...

College student: "Hey, Dad! I've got some great news for you!"

Father: "What, son?"

College student: "Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean's list?"

Father: "I certainly do!"

College student: "Well, you get to keep it."

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Sleep? There's a...

Sleep? There's a nap for that.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

Little Johnny comes running in...

Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"

"No," says his mom, "of course not."

Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,

"It's okay, we can play that game again!"
#joke #short #mother #mom
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (6)

Q. What did one strawberry say...

Q. What did one strawberry say to the other?
A. "If you weren't so fresh last night, we wouldn't be in this jam together!"
#joke #short #fruit #strawberry
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

A man walks into a railway sta...

A man walks into a railway station. He walks up to the ticket window and says "(sniff) Fird clad redurn to Nodingham pleade (sniff)".

The ticket bloke says "You know what you need.. you need Tunes".

"Why" says the man... "Will id cure Cereble Palsdsy"?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 2.38/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (8)

Bloopers from Sunday School Students

  • The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
  • A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
  • The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
  • When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

    • Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
    • Currently 5.00/10

    Rating: 5.0/10 (9)

    Three dreams of a man:
    To ...

    Three dreams of a man:
    To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
    To be as rich as his child believes.
    To have as many women as his wife suspects...

    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 6.00/10

    Rating: 6.0/10 (10)

    James Bond's next advent...

    James Bond's next adventure will be a Freudian psychoanalytical sex thriller, Oedipussy.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 3.00/10

    Rating: 3.0/10 (3)

    Tom Segura: Girls in Atlantic City

    Every girl either has blonde hair with black streaks or black hair with blonde streaks. Which, either way, says: I dont have a gag reflex.
    Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
    • Currently 3.13/10

    Rating: 3.1/10 (23)

    Flying low!

    A blonde and a brunette were walking through a park when the blonde said "Awww look at that poor dead bird!!!"

    The blonde looked up and said "Where?"

    !!!

    #joke #short #blonde #animal #bird
    Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
    • Currently 4.50/10

    Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

    Wife: Let’s go out and have s...

    Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
    Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 5.75/10

    Rating: 5.8/10 (4)

    How does a meteor shower?...

    How does a meteor shower?
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 2.33/10

    Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

    A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

    "Freedom is the distance between Church and State."

    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
    • Currently 3.22/10

    Rating: 3.2/10 (9)

    While Mark was shopping for pe...

    While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him. “Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!”
    “Dear God! Did your try to stop him?” “No,” said the clerk, “but don’t worry. I got the license plate number!”
    #joke #short #animal #pet
    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 3.20/10

    Rating: 3.2/10 (5)

    People who believe in ghosts a...

    People who believe in ghosts are very ghoulable.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 5.00/10

    Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

    Blind date...

    How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

    "Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

    "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

    "He was the original owner."

    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
    • Currently 4.00/10

    Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

    Doug Williams: Marriage License Upgrade

    I think your marriage license should be like your drivers license: should have an expiration date on it. You should have to renew it every couple of years, and if you dont renew it, it just run out.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
    • Currently 3.71/10

    Rating: 3.7/10 (7)

    “What did your mother do yeste...

    “What did your mother do yesterday morning. Vicky?”
    “She done her shopping, ma’am.”
    “Done her shopping, Vicky? Where’s your grammar?”
    “She done her shopping as well, ma’am.”
    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 4.80/10

    Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

    Mr. T has no patience for bead...

    Mr. T has no patience for beady-eyed French lunatics. As he says himself, “Oeil petit les foux”
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 5.00/10

    Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

    When dinosaurs lost the abilit...

    When dinosaurs lost the ability to fart, they faced ex-stinktion.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 3.00/10

    Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

    Tony Rock: Whole Other Level

    Heres a tip for all the weed smokers in the room. If youre going to smoke, always smoke with your fat friends -- the fatter the better. Cause your fat friends will take the munchies to a whole other level. Your fat friends are like, Damn, potato chips? Im gonna go bake a cake.
    #joke #short #food #cake #potato
    Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
    • Currently 3.42/10

    Rating: 3.4/10 (24)

    Pay check

    what is the difference between a pay check and a penis?

    you don't have to beg your wife to blow your pay check!

    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
    • Currently 3.33/10

    Rating: 3.3/10 (9)

    A customer comes into a comput...

    A customer comes into a computer store.“I’m looking for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.”
    After a while the clerk replied, “have you tried Windows 2000?”
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 3.00/10

    Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

    I stole a ladder. I know–...

    I stole a ladder. I know–It was a rung thing to do.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 4.00/10

    Rating: 4.0/10 (5)

    Two WASPs are making love. Aft...

    Two WASPs are making love. Afterward the man says to the woman, "What's the matter? Didn't you like it?"

    The woman says, "Of course I liked it. What gave you the idea that I didn't?"

    "Well," says the man, "you moved."
    #joke #short #animal #wasp
    Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
    • Currently 2.50/10

    Rating: 2.5/10 (4)

    Logic

    The reason there are so many problems between men and women is that they have such different views of sex and relationships.
    Women want a relationship without the complication of unnecessary sex.
    Men want sex without the complication of an unnecessary relationship.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
    • Currently 5.50/10

    Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

    Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I...

    Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know
    his wife until he marries her”
    Dad: That happens in every country, son
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 8.21/10

    Rating: 8.2/10 (39)

    Gambling addicts who see those...

    Gambling addicts who see those Vegas casino lights don't have a chance. It's like lamps to the slotter.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 4.33/10

    Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

    People are ignoring me

    A patient walks into a doctor's office.

    Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.

    Doctor: Next!

    Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
    • Currently 5.74/10

    Rating: 5.7/10 (27)

    Hugh Hefner uses Viagra every ...

    Hugh Hefner uses Viagra every day. He's training for the Old Limp Dick Games.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
    • Currently 3.60/10

    Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

    “Now, that looks like a happil...

    “Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband.
    “Don’t be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us.” Replied his wife.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
    • Currently 3.00/10

    Rating: 3.0/10 (3)

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