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Short jokes - funny one liners (11841 to 11880)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11841 to 11880. |
Upon seeing an elderly lady fo...
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it was stuck to another $100 bill.
On seeing the two bills stuck together, the ethical question came to the attorney's mind: 'Do I tell my partner?'
#joke #short
Does the terrorist business mo...
Does the terrorist business model involve vertical interrogation and just-in-timer delivery?#joke #short
Warm eyes, wet lips
Gently...
Warm eyes, wet lipsGently touch my finger tips
Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there
Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries
Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet
The night is warm, there is no doubt
It's my turn to take the dog out
$200
Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200," the teacher began," and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?""An orgy," Johnny answered.
#joke #short
Footage of my colonoscopy is b...
Footage of my colonoscopy is being made into a feature film! It should be quite the enematic spectacle.#joke #short
We only do portmanteau puns on Valentine's Day. Because love is blend. #joke #short
Upon hearing someone noisily d...
Upon hearing someone noisily defecate in a bathroom stall, people tend to scurry away. Scientists have labeled this phenomenon the Ploppler Shift.#joke #short
A new sovereign nation has app...
A new sovereign nation has appaeared quite Sudanly.#joke #short
Is it true Dr. Jack Kevorkian ...
Is it true Dr. Jack Kevorkian is a die-abet-ic?#joke #short
Get a heart transplant
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds."Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
A young man was trying to park...
A young man was trying to park his car between two others. He put it in reverse, and bang- right into the car behind him. He then went forward and bang- right into the car in front. A young woman watching the maneuver couldn’t contain herself. “Do you always park by ear?” she asked.#joke #short
Most comedians live im...
Most comedians live improverty.#joke #short
“My son decided to go into bus...
“My son decided to go into business on a shoestring,” said Sal.“He has tripled his investment, but he’s still not satisfied, can you believe it?”
“Why not?” asked his body Lance.
“He can’t think of anything to do with three shoestrings.”
#joke #short
Don't forget to commemor...
Don't forget to commemorate Penis Re-Attachment Month, aka Nomember.#joke #short
Demetri Martin: Exit Only
I saw a sign on this door; it said, Exit Only. So, I entered it and went up to the guy working there, and I was like, I have some good news. You have severely underestimated this door over here by, like, 100%, man. #joke #short
Marriage is a relationship in ...
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.#joke #short
Fergie lush is? #joke #short
The latest reports from the In...
The latest reports from the Internal Revenue service shows that it has streamlined its tax form this year.It goes like this:
A. How much did you make last year?
B. How much do you have left?
C. Send B.
#joke #short
Barred
Did you hear about the nympho at the hotel pool?She was barred from the area after the lifeguard saw her go down for the third time.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
#joke #short
Gentlemen don't swear. T...
Gentlemen don't swear. Those who do should join the sir cuss.#joke #short
Job application...
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
#joke #short
The Patron Saint of Email
Q: Who is the Patron Saint of Email?
A: St. Francis of a CC
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member ditzybimbo
#joke #short
Best of #Snowmageddon Puns*: #joke #short
Eliot Chang: Politically Correct Friend
He actually said this to me; hes like, Hey man, you got to be careful. Theres a lot of women that have an Asian fetish. Well, what do you mean? Theyll have sex with you just cause youre Asian. Arent you offended? Uh, Ill be offended after my orgasm. #joke #short
Everybody should pay their tax...
Everybody should pay their taxes with a smile, said Bob. “I tried it but they wanted cash.”#joke #short
“I’ve never flown before, said...
“I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you?“All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!”
#joke #short
Dear Pun Gents...
Dear Pun Gents, I would also (please!) like a roller derby name for myself. I'd like a powerful/mean one that pertains to DNA (I'm a DNA analyst). Thank you! ~Kiersten, Orlando, FL#joke #short
The young mother skeptically e...
The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy."Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.
"It's designed to adjust the tot to live in today's world, madam," the shop assistant replied. "Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."
