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Short jokes - funny one liners (11801 to 11840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11801 to 11840. |
Are really big people measured...
Are really big people measured with a meatier stick?Break in....
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "We had $100 when we broke in!"
You'll never be lonely i...
You'll never be lonely in St. Louis. Missouri loves company.Things in Libya
Things in Libya are getting Mo ammar crazy. Every time their leader speaks he Tripolis over his words. It's a Gadafestrophe.Sperm Count
How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.Answering Machine Message 252
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.
Sign of the times...
A woman met her husband at the train station after work for the ride home. He looked haggard, so she asked, "Rough day?"
"You bet it was," he groaned. "Our computers were down, and we had to think all day long."
Poorest Preacher
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
Tech line
The prime minister of India was at the White House.One embarrassing moment was when President Bush said to the prime minister, 'Could you take a look at my computer?'
'I'm having some problems with it, I can't seem to get through on the tech line.'
Pope has email
The Vatican has unveiled a email address for the new Pope.In related news, the Pope has received a confidential financial offer from the President of Nigeria.
NED: When I bleed, I'm l...
NED: When I bleed, I'm like ALL CAPS…ED: Huh?
NED: SQWERTYING LIKE MAD!
Hard
What is particularly long and hard for most Southern men?Fifth grade.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
The most popular language in t...
The most popular language in the world right now is Sheenese.Invisible...
A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."
A couple were engaged in forep...
A couple were engaged in foreplay when the woman asked, "Why don't you make my pussy talk?""How do I do that?" asked her partner.
"Put a tongue in it."
Ron Jeremy is known for his
Ron Jeremy is known for his lays-her-like focus on the job. #joke #short
Did you water the plants, Sofi...
Did you water the plants, Sofia, asked the mistress of the house?“Of course, ma’am,” Sofia said. “Don’t you hear the water dripping on the carpet?”
When seeing Swan Lake, should ...
When seeing Swan Lake, should you opt for ballet parking?Get Away With Murder
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days"
George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???"
Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer."
“Now, Joseph,” said the teache...
“Now, Joseph,” said the teacher to the aggressive youngster, “what do you think your classmates would think of you if you were always kind and polite?”“They’d think they could beat me up,” promptly responded Joseph.
Dear Pun Gents
Dear Pun Gents, I'm an illustration artist looking for a pun to match a logo titled Venue such as “What's on the venue?” ~Eddie, Savannah, GA #joke #short
I sat naked on a bucket of fro...
I sat naked on a bucket of frozen water, after someone suggested I run for moon icy pail government.Discussing the environment wit...
Discussing the environment with his friend, John asked, “Which of our natural resources do you think will become exhausted first?” “The taxpayer,” replied his friend.You can't make fun of te...
You can't make fun of terrorists anymore. Except if they're jihad-disseds.Snow white
Why did the seven dwarfs use Daz?They wanted their little things to come up snow white!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
