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Short jokes - funny one liners (12241 to 12280)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12241 to 12280. |
A tightwad was convinced by a ...
A tightwad was convinced by a friend to buy a couple of lottery tickets. But after he won the big prize he didn’t seem happy. “What’s wrong?” the friend asked. “You just became a millionaire!” “I know,” he groaned, “But I can’t imagine why I bought that second ticket!”
Adam and Eve had it good
Q. Why were Adam and Eve the happiest couple that's ever lived?A. Because they didn't have in-laws!
Converting to the Society of Friends
Rabbi 1: We've got to do something. Many of the young people in our synagogue are converting to the Quaker faith.
Rabbi 2: I've noticed that too. In fact, some of my best Jews are Friends!
A drunk was walking down the s...
A drunk was walking down the sidewalk with a limp. A man coming in the opposite direction notice that he only had one shoe on. The man said to the drunk, "hey buddy, what's the matter, lose a shoe"? The drunk replied, "Nah, found one".When two wrestlers join forces...
When two wrestlers join forces it is a called a tag team, aka a clobberation.Felipe Esparza: Not a Threesome Body
I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body -- this is a tell nobody. Mr. Briggs looked towards his ...
Mr. Briggs looked towards his secretary who was absorbed in painting her fingernails.“Miss Smith,” he said, “I’d like to compliment you on your work- but when are you going to do any?”
When French fashion designers ...
When French fashion designers stopped using yellow fabrics, they were accused of jaunicide.Born-Again Hindu
A zealous Christian who was trying to convert a Hindu found himself getting nowhere. "The thing is," argued the frustrated Christian, "you have to be born again!"
"But I have been born again!" insisted the Hindu. "And again and again and again ..."
Handing out entry bracelets at...
Handing out entry bracelets at a concert is a safety precaution: it's smart wrist management.Big Bang theory
You know that science teacher who had sex with her fifteen-year-old male student?She was trying to teach him the Big Bang theory.
After hearing about her the Pope thought maybe women are ready to become priests.
Whitney Cummings: Stand-Up and Sex
Stand-up is a lot like sex. Theres a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.There was a fat man who spoke ...
There was a fat man who spoke in riddles. Talking to him was like entering a flabyrinth.How does a farmer pick up wome...
How does a farmer pick up women?Is Rowan Atkinson's care...
Is Rowan Atkinson's career over yet? They should call him Mr. Been.
A real bargain #jokes #humor
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them."Little Johnny and the math teacher...
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon Network!"
The Atheist And The Loch Ness Monster
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
Parents in Beverly Hills fired...
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children'snames.
Blind Date
" How was your blind date ? "" Terrible ! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "
" What's so terrible about that ? "
" He was the original owner ! "
The poet had been droning on a...
The poet had been droning on at the party about his various sources of inspiration. “Yes, he told the young girl. “I’m at present collecting some of my better poems to be published posthumously.” “Lovely,” said the girl. “I’ll look forward to it.”Two strands of DNA were walkin...
Two strands of DNA were walking down the street. One says to the other, "Do these genes make me look fat?Harassment?
Do you know what sexual harassment is?It's when a man talks dirty to a woman.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
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Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
