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Short jokes - funny one liners (12281 to 12320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12281 to 12320. |
I'm a educated, and I...
I'm a educated, and I'm a man. So don't mock ma schoolin'.A true tech support story...
Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now.'Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech Support: 'Well?'
Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?'
Big ethical dilemma
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it was stuck to another $100 bill.
On seeing the two bills stuck together, the ethical question came to the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"
Buddhist Vacuum
Q: Why can't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
A: No attachments.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member Barrybear47
My car is so fast the payments...
My car is so fast the payments are three months behind.High Medical Cost
As I was admitted the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying " I'm going to give you a bracelet. "" Has it got Rubies and Diamonds ? " I ask coyly.
" No, " he said. " But it cost just as much. "
A businessman tells his friend...
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant,His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”
The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
Neverland search
Police raided the Neverland ranch of Michael Jackson again.He was reported to be so upset, he dangled himself over a balcony.
Virgin
What do you call a virgin in Arkansas?A 12 year old that can run faster than her daddy.
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo
Harry asked his wife: Did you...
Harry asked his wife: Did your leave a tip for the boy who delivers our paper?His wife replies: Yes, dear. I put some of it in the bushes, some of it on the roof, and some of it in the front yard.
This World Cup was one for the...
This World Cup was one for the Guinness Book of Redcards.If Jesus had been a chiropract...
If Jesus had been a chiropractor, would there have been millions of disc I pulls?You have heard it said that it...
You have heard it said that it is the thought that counts. Well, when your wife is involved it is NOT the thought that counts, it is HER thought that counts.A lot of volcano eruptions are...
A lot of volcano eruptions are caused by grubs. It must be all the moultin' larvae.Remove the curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife".
Selling at an auction was halt...
Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, “Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500.00 for its immediate return.” After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.00”How does a short-order cook wi...
How does a short-order cook wish you good luck?Sexual Exhaustion
One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"and the whole classroom burst into laughter.
After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
Spice Girls, the Movie? ItR...
Spice Girls, the Movie? It's about thyme.History Teacher:
History Teacher: "Why was George Washington standing in the bow of the boat as the army crossed the Delaware?"Student: "Because he knew if he sat down, he would have to row."
Bill Hicks: Confusing L.A. Weather
L.A. is a very confusing place, only place I know where you can have, simultaneously, a drought and a flood. Every time you watch the weatherman, he goes, Rained all day, didnt help the drought. Back to you, Tom. I got news for you, folks. If water doesnt solve your drought, youre screwed. A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"My life goal is to piss off Brahma so much that I won't need another life goal."
After they were massacred in t...
After they were massacred in the Clone Wars, there was a darth of jedi.The hottest cars travel faster...
The hottest cars travel faster than sound. You’ll be in the hospital before you even start the motor.Arj Barker: 4th of July
I read this on the Internet -- did you know that 4th of July is more popular in this country than in any other country in the whole world? The economy is so bad that:Con...
The economy is so bad that:Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by
the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
I’m going to buy a farm two mi...
I’m going to buy a farm two miles long and half inch wide said Jed.What, would you grow on a farm that size, asked Roger.
Spaghetti, said Jed.
