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Short jokes - funny one liners (12321 to 12360)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12321 to 12360. |
God Takes a Holiday
Chuckling, God remarked, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"
#joke #short
Gay porn is now recyclable.
Gay porn is now recyclable. Waste not wanton nuts. #joke #short
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Jon Reep: Southern Accents
People think youre an idiot. I dont know where they get that idea. But when they hear my accent for the first time, I can tell theyre looking at me and theyre just waiting for me to say something like, What are shoes for? #joke #short
Sinking boat
There's a boat sinking out at sea with men, women and children on it, along with a minister, a rabbi, and a priest.The minister said, "Oh my god, will somebody think of the children."
The rabbi said, "fuck the children."
The priest said, "Do we have time?"
#joke #short
"There's a rumor Dic...
"There's a rumor Dick Cheney may run for president in 2008. If he wins, that would make him the first three --term president since Franklin Roosevelt." -- Jay Leno#joke #short
Q&A: Before Boaz Married
Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A: Ruthless
Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German shepherds.
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
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Too much cereal gives me ro...
Too much cereal gives me my grains.#joke #short
An English cat, named One Two ...
An English cat, named One Two Three and a French cat, named Un Deux Trois, decided to have a swimming race across the Channel. The English cat won because Un Deux Trois cat sank.A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
Forget world peace--visualize using your turn signal!
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Wasn't there an oil rigg...
Wasn't there an oil rigger in that group, the Spillage People?#joke #short
Why did the nurse tip-toe to t...
Why did the nurse tip-toe to the cupboard?So she didn't wake the sleeping pills.
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"President Bush is taking...
"President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him." -- Jay Leno#joke #short
Shakespeare's works have...
Shakespeare's works have recently been climbing up the bestseller charts. It's a sonnet boom!#joke #short
Did you hear about the cross-e...
Did you hear about the cross-eyed headmaster?He couldn't control his pupils.
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Sexual harassment is a big pro...
Sexual harassment is a big problem at tap-ass bars.#joke #short
Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer
I dont just write jokes. You know what Im best at? Greeting cards. Im a really good greeting card writer. And Im going to prove it with a little sample of my work Im going to share for you: As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. Ive been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Fathers Day
Darth Vader threw a root veget...
Darth Vader threw a root vegetable at his son's car. He said ‘Luke, I yam your four-door!'#joke #short
What does Captain Jack Sparrow...
What does Captain Jack Sparrow cook stew in?Happiest day of your life...
Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."
#joke #short
On July 8, 1947, witnesses cla...
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, an incident they say has been covered up by the military.March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born.
That clears up a lot of things.
A very rich and famous dwarf p...
A very rich and famous dwarf passed away recently. He was low dead.#joke #short
Dwayne Kennedy: Hard Working Mexicans
Mexicans work hard, brother. They work harder than everybody. Mexicans have the strongest work ethic on earth. If Mexicans had been slaves, slavery wouldve been over real quick because theyd have done 300 hours of work in about nine hours and still have time for a soccer game.
Japanese cartoon gameshow: ...
Japanese cartoon gameshow: Whose Line Is It, Animé?#joke #short
Sign on a door: "WARNING: Use ...
Sign on a door: "WARNING: Use door for entering and exiting only!"#joke #short
The inventors of the silicone breast implant are long since retired. But I just want to say tanks for the mammaries. #joke #short
Morgan Murphy: Boyfriend Without a Car
Im actually dating a guy right now... He doesnt have a car, and I live in L.A., and thats crazy. At first I thought, Thats it, its gonna ruin everything. I cant do that. I cant make this kind of sacrifice. But then I realized, at least when we break up, hes gonna have a really hard time stalking me.#joke #short
