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Short jokes - funny one liners (12801 to 12840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12801 to 12840. |
Q: Can you describe the indivi...
Q: Can you describe the individual?A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
#joke #short
I slept with the devil last ni...
I slept with the devil last night. We had six 3 times!#joke #short
Sally was trying hard to get t...
Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”#joke #short
husband, while on a business t...
husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here." The message received by the wife was "I wish you were her."#joke #short
While visiting a friend in the...
While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asked one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she said with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”Why are pirates so loud?...
Why are pirates so loud?#joke #short
Tell Me Everything
Tell me everything you know...I have a few seconds to waste.#joke #short
Boogers and spinach
What is the differance between boogers and spinach?
You can't get your kids to eat spinach.
#joke #short
Microsoft and a lightbulb
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?
None - Bill Gates just declares darkness the new standard!
#joke #short
Little Johnny was asked by his...
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to spell "straight," little Johnny did so without error."Bravo," said the teacher, "now, what does it mean?"
"Without water in it."
#joke #short
Sergeant (to new recruit): Wha...
Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.
#joke #short
I got a hot new inking done of...
I got a hot new inking done of a beverage container, but I didn't like it. I had to go back to the parlor to have the Thermos tat adjusted.#joke #short
Smallness
Youre so small that when it rains youre the last to know!#joke #short
Bar
three men walk into a bar you would think the last one would of seen it#joke #short
A woman at a department store ...
A woman at a department store ask a clerk: Will you help me out, please?“Certainly, just go through that door” replied the clerk.
#joke #short
Many environmentalists are als...
Many environmentalists are also writers. They have many litter rarely qualities.#joke #short
The first woman recruit in the...
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men.It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
Dear John
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Judi xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
#joke #short
Little Johnny came running int...
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?""No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
A defendant was asked if he wa...
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial,” the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure,” replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one.”#joke #short
French humour is so Sarkozstic...
French humour is so Sarkozstic#joke #short
Judi was walking by the jewelr...
Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went."Excuse me," she said to the sales lady behind the counter, "Will a small deposit hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?"
#joke #short
Cojonan O'Obrien...
Cojonan O'Obrien really had balls standing up to NBC, after getting bumped by the Jay Jay.#joke #short
A daughter broke-up with her b...
A daughter broke-up with her boyfriend. She asked for her Mother's advice about returning the gifts he'd given her.Without a pause, her Mother replied, "Send back the stuffed animals and letters, but keep the jewelry for sentimental reasons."
Men and the Toilet Seat
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?A: Who knows -- its never been done.
#joke #short
Relationships
"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."#joke #short
Soft Hands
Q. What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful?
A. Nothing, nothing at all.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee
#joke #short
The judge warned the witness, ...
The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.”“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
#joke #short
After Catcher in the Rye...
After Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger’s writing career stayed in a Holden pattern. And he would never field any cauls.#joke #short
