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Short jokes - funny one liners (12961 to 13000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12961 to 13000. |
A kindergarten teacher asked: ...
A kindergarten teacher asked: “What is the shape of the earth?”After a pause a little girl spoke up: “According to my Daddy…terrible!”
#joke #short
Navy officers tend to behave <...
Navy officers tend to behave admiralbly.#joke #short #policeman
Cutest Baby Chicks Ever
Why do baby chicks say cheap, cheap, cheap? Because they cant say expensive, expensive, expensive!#joke #short
History Of The Bagpipes
Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.
#joke #short
Two Boll Weevils
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
#joke #short
An Apocalyptic One-Liner
Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little just to be funny.
#joke #short
In today's news...32 more plan...
In today's news...32 more planets were found outside of our solar system bringing the total to 400. And..., not a sign of intelligent life, not even here.#joke #short
After a long drive your joints...
After a long drive your joints may stiffen and you could get carthritis.#joke #short
A stoner stumbles out of a party...
A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home. One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says Call me an ambulance! The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, Youre an ambulance!#joke #short
What sort of television progra...
What sort of television programmes do ducks like?Duckumentaries
#joke #short
Two poor kids were invited by ...
Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool.When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: "Did you notice the small dicks on the rich kids?"
The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play with!"
The teacher says, “I wish you’...
The teacher says, “I wish you’d pay a little attention Mary.”“I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Bell,” said Mary.
#joke #short
A Bumpy Ride
Tickle Nhat Hahn: Flying in a plane can be a bumpy ride, even while taxiing on the ground. But it's not the pilot's fault. It's not the airline's fault. It's the asphalt.
#joke #short
Some of those pedophile priest...
Some of those pedophile priests must have misunderstood the pope's orders: anul sects.#joke #short
What a Pretty Necklace
A tourist was admiring a tribal necklace at a roadside gift shop. "What is it made of?" she asked."Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that alligator's teeth mean as much to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh, no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
Bricklayers have a mor...
Bricklayers have a mortar complex.#joke #short
A fellow getting a shave asked...
A fellow getting a shave asked the barber if he had another razor."Why?" asked the barber, "Is there something wrong with this one?"
"I don't know," replied the customer, "But I would appreciate a chance to defend myself."
#joke #short
A policeman spots this Bl...
A policeman spots this Bloke walking up Royal Ave. pulling a 12 foot long rope and asks, “What do you think you are doing pulling this 12 long rope up Royal Ave.?”
The Bloke replied: “have you ever tried pushing it?”
#joke #short #policeman
Wigmakers are always p...
Wigmakers are always putting on hairs.#joke #short
The chicken or the egg?
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
A police officer saw a car speeding...
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close hes saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving. The cop yelled, Pull over! The blonde shouted back, No! Its a sweater!His girlfriend had just learne...
His girlfriend had just learned to drive the car and now they were out in the suburbs racking along over seventy. “Doesn’t speeding over the beautiful country make you glad you are alive?” she asked.“Glad?” He raised an eyebrow. “Glad in not the word for it. I’m amazed.”
#joke #short
Wide men can't j...
Wide men can't jump.#joke #short
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
#joke #short
