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Short jokes - funny one liners (13121 to 13160)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13121 to 13160. |
The parents of that kid Falcon...
The parents of that kid Falcon were absolute balloonatics.#joke #short
"Doctor, my son thinks he's a ...
"Doctor, my son thinks he's a chicken."Hindu Happy Birthday
Q: What does a Hindu wish someone on their birthday?
A: May you have many happy returns.
#joke #short
"My uncle in Detroit tried to ...
"My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth.""Really? What did he get?"
"Fifteen years."
#joke #short
Amputees like to stretch. So t...
Amputees like to stretch. So they can feel limber.#joke #short
What did the swine flu say to ...
What did the swine flu say to the seasonal flu? H1, N1ce to meet you!#joke #short
A chicken and an egg are lying...
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
How long...?
When the surgeon came to see Rita on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon.
"You're the first one ever to ask that after a nose job...."
#joke #short
The first-time father, beside ...
The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right."So, tell me, Nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?"
I can't stop talking abo...
I can't stop talking about the apocalypse. Armageddon too old for that!#joke #short
New Version of Playboy
Q. Did you hear about the new magazine for married men published by Playboy? A. It has the same pictures month after month after month after month after month....#joke #short
Curtains
What is the difference between a hooker, a lover and a housewife?A hooker says, "Faster, faster."
A lover says, "Slower, slower."
A housewife says, "Curtains...I think I need new curtains!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
#joke #short
Defining Form 1040
For those of you who are not familiar with US tax forms, "Form 1040" is the most common of the US Federal tax forms. Most people file one of the several versions of this form.
Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?
Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
#joke #short
What do gynecologists have in ...
What do gynecologists have in common with Christopher Columbus? They are all explore-hers.#joke #short
What's a bloke's idea of doing...
What's a bloke's idea of doing housework?Lifting his leg so you can hoover.
#joke #short
Victorian Ladies
How many Victorian ladies does it take to change a lightbulb? One hundred. One to replace the bulb and ninety-nine to contract consumption and die beautiful, poetic deaths.#joke #short
Why rivers flood in springtime...
Why rivers flood in springtime has me absolutely flow maxed. I just didn't bank on it.#joke #short
Is the Internet haunted? Behin...
Is the Internet haunted? Behind every link could be a horrifying, astley presence.#joke #short
Lucky
The cyclist, passing a pedestran crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. "Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says."What do you mean by lucky?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad."
"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."
#joke #short
Did Art Linkletter invent cursive writing? #joke #short
Oenophiles are winers<...
Oenophiles are winers. They ought to stick a cork in it.#joke #short
Tom and and his blond pal Harr...
Tom and and his blond pal Harry go to the theater. Harry gets up to leave after the curtain closes for the first intermission."Where are you going?" asks Tom.
"It's not worth the wait," says Harry. "Look in the program. Act two - one month later."
It's the disease of many...
It's the disease of many faces. In fact, anyone in a bathroom could have loo piss.#joke #short
One-Handed Man Crossing
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?To get to the second hand shop.
#joke #short
Hear about the woman who wore ...
Hear about the woman who wore a toupee in place of a bra? She was involved in a major rug bust.#joke #short
Musicians and Lightbulbs
Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, two, one, two, three, four!#joke #short
Understanding Women
(A Man's Perspective)I know I'm not going to understand women..
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
#joke #short
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clo...
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?A: Because they taste funny
#joke #short
Do professional speechwriters ...
Do professional speechwriters have to fill out a lot of rant applications?#joke #short
Carpenters enjoy showering. Th...
Carpenters enjoy showering. They work up a good lather.#joke #short
What does the starship enterpr...
What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common? They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.
#joke #short
