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Short jokes - funny one liners (13161 to 13200)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13161 to 13200. |
The angry wife met her husband...
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar."I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
Robinson Crusoe was the first ...
Robinson Crusoe was the first man to work a five-day week. He got all his work done by Friday!Policeman: "Did you get the li...
Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?"Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"
Policeman: "How can you be so certain?"
Pedestrian: "I’d recognize that laugh anywhere!"
A woman welcomed the distingui...
A woman welcomed the distinguished man who had moved next-door and asked, "Should I call you by your first name or by your title and last name?"He assured her: "It doesn't matter. Some even call me an old fool."
The woman's response was: "They must know you very well."
#joke #short
Catching swine flu is a ron...
Catching swine flu is a porcine of health.#joke #short
Doctor: What's wrong with y...
Doctor: What's wrong with your bother?Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.
Doctor: really? How long has this been going on?
Boy: Five years.
Doctor: Five years!
Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs.
Fashion designers are ...
Fashion designers are chic magnets.#joke #short
Clinic
Why does everyone want to work at the impotency clinic?It's a soft job.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 63
Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you... When hell freezes over.
#joke #short
Malingerer: a...
Malingerer: a kid who hangs out in shopping centers.#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 149
We're not in cause we're out LOOTING! Leave a message and we'll call you back and tell you what we got.
#joke #short
Good Question!
And Moses looked upon the Lord and said:
"We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"
#joke #short
The favourite music of menstru...
The favourite music of menstruating women, without a doubt, is rag time. Period. Especially the flowing melodies and bleed violins of the London Philtamponic, whose works are best played PMSimo.#joke #short
Be Quiet in Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as theywere on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary
to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are
sleeping!"
#joke #short
A Bar in Tokyo
The exhausted businessman stopped in a Tokyo bar for a drink. "Speak English?" he asked the bartender.#joke #short
Studying the Red Planet ron...
Studying the Red Planet mars my evening plans.#joke #short
The Nun and the Cabbie
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.#joke #short
I can sew, knit and cross-stit...
I can sew, knit and cross-stitch. Darn knit all, I'm a triple thread!#joke #short
Halloween Treats for the Dead
What did the ghost get for Halloween? Some Booo-T#joke #short #halloween
Safety advice from Dante? When...
Safety advice from Dante? When entering the Inferno, wear a helmet.#joke #short
Q. Why is it so hard for women...
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
#joke #short
GCSE examination
The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire ( U.K. )#joke #short
Hear about the female student ...
Hear about the female student of interpretation theory, who rejected her boyfriend because he had fleas?#joke #short
Q. Why are married women heavi...
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
#joke #short
Dead in His Cornflakes
Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.
#joke #short #policeman
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water."
#joke #short
Blonde Burglary
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once a nd reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.What do vegetarian zombies scr...
What do vegetarian zombies scream for?#joke #short
