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Short jokes - funny one liners (13961 to 14000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13961 to 14000. |
How do you make a bandstand?
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs! #joke #short
Take away their chairs!
#joke #short
What do you call two r...
What do you call two raincoats in a cemetery?Max Bygraves.
#joke #short
Dad: Junior, how did you get y...
Dad: Junior, how did you get your clothes ripped? Son: I was trying to stop a boy from getting beat up. Dad: Oh? What boy? Son: Me!#joke #short
A guy goes into the doctors of...
A guy goes into the doctors office, he's got a banana stuck in each ear and grapes stuck up his nose. He tells the doc "I sure don't feel very good."The doctor replies "Of course not, you're not eating right".
This nun was taking a bath, wh...
This nun was taking a bath, when there was a knock on the door."Who is it?," she cried.
"It's the blind man.," was the answer.
Says the nun, "Well, come on in and tell me your troubles."
In comes the man.
"Wow!" he says, "Where should I hang the blinds?"
#joke #short
Do You Reject the Devil?
A priest came to a dying author to read him his last rites.
"Do you reject the devil?" asked the priest.
"This is no time to be making enemies," replied the author.
#joke #short
A visitor to a college campus ...
A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway.""Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."
"Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?"
"Yes, indeed. He wrote a check."
#joke #short
Dear John,
I have bee...
Dear John,I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement.
Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart.
I was a fool - nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
Idiot Sayings
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."#joke #short
Q: What did t...
Q: What did the good check say to the bad check that was depressed?A: Dont worry, you'll bounce back.
#joke #short
"Dick Cheney agreed to be...
"Dick Cheney agreed to be President Bush's running mate once again in 2004. He made the announcement while riding in Ambulance One. In fact, he's got a new campaign slogan: No chest pain, no gain. ... He said he wanted four more years but his doctor is only giving him two." -- Jay LenoWhere Did The White Man Go Wrong?
Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he has done.'#joke #short
Q: How do you...
Q: How do you stop a Taliban tank?A: You shoot the guy who is pushing it.
#joke #short
Knock Knock Collection 025
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Beryl!
Beryl who?
Beryl of beer!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Bette-lou!
Bette-lou who?
Betty-lou a few pounds!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Betty!
Betty who?
Betty ya don't know who this is!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Betty!
Betty who?
Betty-bye!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Bibi!
Bibi who?
Bibi gun!
Junior: Dad, our religion teac...
Junior: Dad, our religion teacher says we were put here in order to help others. Dad: That's right, son. Junior: But I donÂ’t understand -- what are the others for?#joke #short
Traffic Court
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."#joke #short
A dyslexic man walks into a br...
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.#joke #short
Bill Gates cannot hire houseke...
Bill Gates cannot hire housekeepers, although he has interviewed hundreds.Everyone he interviews says they don't do windows.
#joke #short
Nine Words Women Use
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.#joke #short
There was a duck that went to ...
There was a duck that went to a local store to buy chapstick, the clerk asked if he would pay cash and the duck said, no, just put it on my bill.#joke #short
Q: What do co...
Q: What do constipated mathematicians do when they've got a problem?A: They work it out with a pencil.
#joke #short
Baby Digital Watch
Q: What did the baby digital watch say to the mommy analog watch?A: Look Ma, no hands!
#joke #short
Aspiring singer: Do you think ...
Aspiring singer: Do you think my voice has improved? Trainer: Yes it has ... but it's not cured yet.#joke #short
What Men Really Mean
I'M GOING FISHIN."#joke #short
One day, a mailman was greeted...
One day, a mailman was greeted by a boy and his dog. The mailman said to the boy, "Does your dog bite?""No," replied the boy.
Just then, the dog bit the mailman.
"Hey, "he yelled. "I thought your dog doesn't bite!"
"He doesn't," replied the boy, "but that's not my dog."
Check the E-mail Address
A few days after her husbands death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.The e-mail reads:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
#joke #short
