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Short jokes - funny one liners (14001 to 14040)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14001 to 14040. |
What do you call a sandwich bo...
What do you call a sandwich box swinging from a bell rope?Where is My Present?
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.#joke #short
Have you heard the joke about ...
Have you heard the joke about the dustbin?It's rubbish.
#joke #short
Taxes
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"
#joke #short
Men Are Just Happier People
Your last name stays put.#joke #short
Q: Why don't people like to ea...
Q: Why don't people like to eat next to basketball players?A: Because they dribble too much!
#joke #short
Q: Why are Je...
Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it is 20% off.
#joke #short
What do you call a person that...
What do you call a person that speaks 3 languages?"Trilingual"
What do you call a person that speaks 2 languages?
"Bilingual"
What do you call a person that speaks 1 language?
"American"
#joke #short
E.T.
Q: Whats E.T. short for? A: Because he has little legs!#joke #short
Gay bar
Four things not to say in a gay bar.1 Bugger me it's hot in here!
2 Can I push your stool in?
3 Toss you for the next round!
4 Can I bum a fag?
#joke #short
Revenge is Sweet
There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.#joke #short
Host: There's a storm outside....
Host: There's a storm outside. You can't go home in such bad weather -- why not spend the night here? Guest: All right. Just let me go home first and get my pajamas.#joke #short
A police recruit was asked dur...
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"He answered, "Call for backup."
Q: How can yo...
Q: How can you keep a five dollar bill from a Mexican?A: Put it under a bar of soap.
#joke #short
What did the digital clock say...
What did the digital clock say to the analogue clock?Look, no hands!
#joke #short
This Is My First Golf Lesson
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Secretary: I think you're want...
Secretary: I think you're wanted on the phone, sir. Boss: What do you mean "you think"? Secretary: Well, I answered it and a voice said, "Is that you, you old fool?"#joke #short
A warthog hits this lady and t...
A warthog hits this lady and the husband calls 911.The operator asks, "Where are you at"?
The husband replies, "I'm on Eucolipstic Road."
The operator asks, "Can you spell that for me?"
"Well... I'll just drag her over to Oak so you can you pick her up there?"
#joke #short
Q: Did you he...
Q: Did you hear about Rosie O'Donnell?A: They found her face-down in Ricki Lake.
#joke #short
A fellow nurse at my hospital ...
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
What did the Pacific Ocean say...
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?Nothing, it just waved
#joke #short
A girl asks her boyfriend, "Do...
A girl asks her boyfriend, "Do you think I'm vain?" "Of course not," he says, "why do you ask?" "Well," she says, "girls as beautiful as me usually are."#joke #short
Q: How do you...
Q: How do you execute an Australian kiss?A: Just like you would a French kiss, only down under.
#joke #short
One Day the Devil challenged t...
One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."
"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires!"
Female astronauts
Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
#joke #short
Waiter! This coffee tastes lik...
Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.Snobbish man to art gallery at...
Snobbish man to art gallery attendant: I suppose this hideous monstrosity is what passes for modern art these days. Attendant: No, sir, that's just a mirror.#joke #short
Tech Support: "Do you have any...
Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside!"
#joke #short
Q: Did you kn...
Q: Did you know that President Clinton is in some more trouble?A: Yeah, Monica coughed up a little more evidence.
#joke #short
Bankers do it risk-free.
Ba...
Bankers do it risk-free.Bankers do it just for money.
Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.
Bankers do it with varying rates of interest.
Bankers do it with a penalty for early withdrawal.
#joke #short
