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Short jokes - funny one liners (14041 to 14080)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14041 to 14080. |
How can you prove that dogs ar...
How can you prove that dogs are man's best friend?A schoolgirl says to her frien...
A schoolgirl says to her friend, "I wished I'd lived a thousand years ago." "Why?" her friend asks. "Well," says the girl, "there wouldn't be so much history to learn."#joke #short
Roller Coaster
"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.#joke #short
Q: What has t...
Q: What has three balls and is from outer space?A: ET: The Extra Testicle
#joke #short
Two cows are standing around w...
Two cows are standing around when one cow says to the other: "So what do you think about this mad cow disease?" The other replies, "What do I care, I'm a hellicopter!"Credit Card
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.#joke #short
Yo momma so skinny she inspire...
Yo momma so skinny she inspires crackwhores to diet.#joke #short
what did the secend hand said ...
what did the secend hand said to the minet hand I think im lost because I am going in circul#joke #short
Tourist in a small country vil...
Tourist in a small country village: This is a nice town. What's the age of your oldest inhabitant? Villager: We haven't got one now. He died only last week.#joke #short
Genuine Complaint to Edinburgh Police
Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service#joke #short #policeman
Q: If you're ...
Q: If you're French in the kitchen and German in the living room what are you in the restroom?A: European.
#joke #short
"I just finished my portrait o...
"I just finished my portrait of you. It's a good likeness, don't you think?" "Well ... it probably looks better from a distance." "There, I told you it looked like you!"#joke #short
If Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder ...
“If absence makes the heart grow fonder,†said a minister, “a lot of folks must really love our church.â€
#joke #short
The New Hen
Harry did like he always did every evening. He kissed his wife, crawled into bed and went to sleep. All of a sudden, he woke up and saw an elderly man dressed in a robe standing in front of his bed.#joke #short
Yo Mama So Fat
yo mama so fat she went into the ocean rose ita 150 ft#joke #short #yomama
Old man to young boy: Can you ...
Old man to young boy: Can you come closer? I'm a little deaf and can't hear what you're saying from over there. Boy: I'm not talking to you -- I'm chewing gum!#joke #short
A newly married couple show up...
A newly married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. ‘Do you have any reservations,’ inquires the concierge.‘Only one,’ says the groom. ‘She won’t take it up the arse.'
#joke #short
Studying Up for the Big Test
"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather.
"Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Granddad.
#joke #short
Q: What's the...
Q: What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?A: There's a chance you can negotiate with a terrorist.
#joke #short
Waiter! Bring me a crocodile s...
Waiter! Bring me a crocodile sandwich . . . and make it snappy!Angry boss: Clear out your des...
Angry boss: Clear out your desk and go! You're fired! Employee: But I haven't done anything! Boss: Exactly ... that's why I'm firing you!#joke #short
Answering Service At The Mental Institute
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.#joke #short
Knock Knock!
Who's there? ...
Knock Knock! Who's there?
A little girl.
A little girl who?
A little girl who can't reach the doorbell!
#joke #short
Steering wheel
So a guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.When he walks up to the bar and orders a drink, the bar tender
says:
"Gee that must be a bit annoying mate"
The guy replies: "Yeah, its driving me nutts!"
#joke #short #walksintoabar
What does a king do when he bu...
What does a king do when he burps?Issues a royal pardon.
#joke #short
A lady answers the doorbell. A...
A lady answers the doorbell. A man at the door says, "I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't call for a piano tuner," says the lady. "No," says the man, "but your neighbors did."#joke #short
Q: Did you blow your horn or a...
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
#joke #short
Bricks
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyse the situation.#joke #short
One morning the phone rang at ...
One morning the phone rang at 3:00 a.m. in Jeff's house. He picked up the phone and a woman asked, "Is this 555-1111?""No, this is 555-1112." Jeff replied.
"Oh, I'm so sorry for disturbing you." The woman said.
"That's alright," Jeff said. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
#joke #short
Did you hear about the...
Did you hear about the cleaning lady who won the lottery?You couldn't see her for dust
#joke #short
Nervous mountain climber to hi...
Nervous mountain climber to his guide: This rock face we're climbing looks very dangerous. Do people often fall off it? Guide: No, once is generally all it takes.#joke #short
The Barber
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"#joke #short
"Why are you laughing?" "The s...
"Why are you laughing?" "The stupid dentist just pulled out one of my teeth!" "I don't think that's very funny." "Well, but you see -- it was the wrong one!"#joke #short
