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Short jokes - funny one liners (14081 to 14120)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14081 to 14120. |
What do you call a woman who s...
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?Annette
#joke #short
up, comedians, funny videos, d...
up, comedians, funny videos, dane cook, mike birbiglia, eugene mirman, demetri martin, jeff dunham, katt williams, daily joke, joke of the day, funny jokes, yo mama, jokes, redneck, blond, george bush, bush, lawyer, favorite, list, animal, college, dumbBoss: Your job is to dig a hol...
Boss: Your job is to dig a hole in this road. Worker: But what will I do with all the earth I dig up? Boss: Simple. Just dig another hole and bury the dirt in it.#joke #short
Useful
She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!#joke #short
What is the STRONGEST letter i...
What is the STRONGEST letter in the alphabet?PÂ… Even Superman CanÂ’t Hold It!!
#joke #short
Gambling Problem
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."#joke #short
Knock, knock!
Who's t...
Knock, knock!Who's there?
George Washington!
George Washington who?
George Washington who?!! Didn't you learn anything in history class?!!
#joke #short
A rich snob shows a friend aro...
A rich snob shows a friend around her new house. The friend says, "This one room could use a chandelier." "I know," says the snob, "but nobody here knows how to play one."#joke #short
What happened to the horse tha...
What happened to the horse that broke its leg in the Grand National?Wife: I thought you weren't go...
Wife: I thought you weren't going to smoke anymore. Husband: I'm not. Wife: But you still smoke as much as ever! Husband: Well, that's not more, is it?#joke #short
Did you hear about the skeleto...
Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe?Florida Minister...
A minister in Florida lamented that it was difficult to get his message across to his local congregation:
"It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said, "that heaven doesn't interest them that much."
"And it's so hot here in the summer that hell doesn't really scare them either."
#joke #short
Pagan Wives
Q. Why do Pagan girls make the best wives?
A. She'll always worship the ground you walk on.
#joke #short
Last week I moved into my new ...
Last week I moved into my new apartment. It was so small, I had to scrape off the wallpaper to get the furniture inside.#joke #short
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a ...
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a £10 note.Answering Machine Message 123
(Sound of scrap metal falling down a staircase continues through message.) Hello, we are having some technical problems right now, so we can't take your call. Please leave us a message.
#joke #short
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"God's true name is unpronounceable...because God is Welsh."
#joke #short
Senior Citizen
Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, ' I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'#joke #short
Q: Why was Ti...
Q: Why was Tigger hovering around the toilet?A: Because he was playing with Pooh.
#joke #short
New National Anthem
Did you hear Clinton wants to change our national anthem?The new anthem would be "Yank My Doodle It's A Dandy!"
#joke #short
"How's your business doing?" "...
"How's your business doing?" "Well, I'm looking for a new receptionist." "But you only hired one last week!" "Yes, that's the one I'm looking for."#joke #short
What is the most tired part of...
What is the most tired part of a car?The exhaust.
#joke #short
How are men like mascara?
...
How are men like mascara?Any sign of emotion and they're running!
#joke #short
Q: Have you e...
Q: Have you ever smelled mothballs?A: Well, how did you spread their tiny legs?
#joke #short
Did you hear about the stupid ...
Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer?He fell in the sink!
#joke #short
Definition Of Windows
Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows 95
Windows95:
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
#joke #short
Killer
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working.#joke #short
John's teacher sent a note hom...
John's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :"John seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. "
The mother wrote back the next day :
" If you find a solution, please advise.
I have the same problem with his father ! "
"My sister has been playing th...
"My sister has been playing the violin for six years." "Is she any good?" "Not really. It took her five years to figure out she's not supposed to blow it."#joke #short