|
Short jokes - funny one liners (14121 to 14160)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14121 to 14160. |
Get Me An Ambulence Now
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!
#joke #short
Real Church Signs
Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
#joke #short
Americans Vs Russians
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.#joke #short
Q: Did you he...
Q: Did you hear that the Republicans and the Democrats in Washington are contemplating passing a bill that balances the budget?A: It may not be funny, but it sure is a joke!
#joke #short
Murder by Numbers
Three men walk into a room.Two get shot.
How many are left?
Three—its not like the two that were shot could get up and walk out!
#joke #short
"What can you say about my lat...
"What can you say about my latest poem? I value your opinion, you know." "Frankly, it's worthless." "I know, but I'd like to hear it all the same."#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 166
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
#joke #short
When I was young I used to pra...
When I was young I used to pray for a bike,then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
#joke #short
What's a baby's motto?
What's a baby's motto?
If at first you don't succeed - cry, cry again! #joke #short
If at first you don't succeed - cry, cry again!
#joke #short
"Have you read the book I lent...
"Have you read the book I lent you -- How to Become a Millionaire?" "Yes, but I only got to the middle. Half its pages are missing!" "But isn't half a million enough for you?"#joke #short
A man goes into a bar and asks...
A man goes into a bar and asks for helicopter flavour crisps."We don't have helicopter crisps, sir," says the barman.
"Fair enough," says the man, "I'll just have plain."
"Fair enough," says the man, "I'll just have plain."
#joke #short
What's the difference between ...
What's the difference between peoplewho pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.
#joke #short
"What kind of work are you doi...
"What kind of work are you doing now?" "I'm a debt collector." "That's not a really pleasant job is it?" "It's not too bad. People are always asking me to call again."#joke #short
Knock Knock...
Q: HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.
#joke #short
Job Interview
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the job.#joke #short
What did the gangster's son te...
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?" Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything !! "
#joke #short
Q: What do yo...
Q: What do you do when you see your wife staggering around the back yard?A: Shoot her again.
#joke #short
"What's the matter with you, t...
"What's the matter with you, telling everybody that I'm an idiot?" "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret."#joke #short
What did one plate say to the ...
What did one plate say to the other plate?An Australian was in Ireland. ...
An Australian was in Ireland. On his way to Belfast, he stoppedat a bar and asked one of the locals, "What's the quickest way
to Belfast?" The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"
The Australian replied, "I'm driving!" The Irishman said, "Aye,
that'd be the quickest way!"
#joke #short
Q: Have you h...
Q: Have you heard about the latest Polish invention?A: It's an inflatable dart board.
#joke #short
"I'm now making my living as a...
"I'm now making my living as a full-time artist." "So have you sold anything lately?" "Yes -- my car, my TV, my watch ..."#joke #short
Yo momma so dumb she took a sp...
Yo momma so dumb she took a spoon to the Super bowl.#joke #short
A blonde goes to an office party and wins...
A blonde goes to an office party and wins a thermos. The blonde asks a co-worker, What does it do? He says it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. The next day the blond goes to work after filling her thermos with ice cream and tea.Parents
What do you call a couple who uses the rhythm method of birth control?Parents.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
#joke #short
"What did you get for your bir...
"What did you get for your birthday?" "A harmonica -- it's the best present I ever got!" "Why?" "My Dad pays me fifty a week not to play it."#joke #short
How does a flower ride a bike?...
How does a flower ride a bike?By pushing on the petals
#joke #short
Sex and athletics....
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.
In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
What Do You Get When ...
What do you get when you cross a Buddhist and a Druid?
Someone who worships the tree that is not there.
#joke #short
Now You Know
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.#joke #short
