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Short jokes - funny one liners (14161 to 14200)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14161 to 14200. |
What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer ...
What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer have in common? They were wondering where all of those Tomahawks were coming from.#joke #short
Got Cha
On their way home after celebrating their25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful
evening.
"Oh. it's not over yet", says the husband.
Once in the house, he gives her a little black
velvet box. She opens it in anticipation, "But
what are these two little pills?"
"Aspirin", says he.
#joke #short
Schoolboy doing homework: Dad,...
Schoolboy doing homework: Dad, how do you spell "erbivore"? Dad: Don't you mean "herbivore"? Schoolboy: No -- I've got the "h" down already.#joke #short
Pupil: Please Miss, would you...
Pupil: Please Miss, would you punish someone for something they didn't do? Teacher: No, Of course not!!
Pupil: Oh good, Because i haven't done my homework!!!
#joke #short
New Deputy
The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"My friend just got back from a...
My friend just got back from a trip to Switzerland. I asked him what he thought about the scenery. He said, “Oh, I couldn't see much. All these mountains were in the way.”#joke #short
A woman calls a nother women a...
A woman calls a nother women and asks what the dress code is. I the women on the on the other side of the phone replies very confidential!#joke #short
Toughest Time of My Life
I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.#joke #short
Heard about the engineer who i...
Heard about the engineer who invented a device for seeing through brick walls? ItÂ’s called a window.#joke #short
Two parrots sitting on a Perch...
Two parrots sitting on a Perch when one says to the other – can you smell fish?Blind date....
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 200
(Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...) Any message?
#joke #short
Good News, Bad News
A minister stood in front of his congregation and announced, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is that it’s still in your pockets.â€
#joke #short
Condom Galore
Nike Condoms: Just do it.#joke #short
Yo momma so fat G-d mistook he...
Yo momma so fat G-d mistook her for his bowling ball.#joke #short
Mountain climber hanging on cl...
Mountain climber hanging on cliff to his partner: Hey, the rope holding me is fraying. What if it breaks? Partner: Don't worry, I brought along extra rope.#joke #short
How many Spaniards does it tak...
How many Spaniards does it tak tae screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan
#joke #short
Two Hindu Puns
Two Hindu swamis were in conversation.
One said to the other, "How did you like my latest book, 'The Art of Levitation'?"
His companion replied, "It kept me up all night."
***
#joke #short
Q: Why aren't...
Q: Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in Afghanistan?A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
#joke #short
Man to police: I found a dead ...
Man to police: I found a dead cat -- someone threw it into my garden! Cop: All right, come back in six weeks and if no one else has claimed it, you can keep it.13-year-old dad Alfie Patton h...
13-year-old dad Alfie Patton has joined the Fathers for Justice campaign group.The Last One's Law Of Program ...
The Last One's Law Of Program Generators: A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator.#joke #short
Oklahoma Fan
A Texas family of football supporters head out one Saturday to the outlet mall to do their tax-free back to school shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an Oklahoma jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Sooner fan and I would like to wear this to school".What do you call a Spaniard wh...
What do you call a Spaniard who loses his car?Carlos
#joke #short
Wealthy Investors
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
#joke #short
The Jewish Boy and the Muslim Boy
David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation.
Ali: I'm getting operated on tomorrow.
David: Oh? What are they going to do?
Ali: Circumcise me!
David: I had that done when I was just a few days old.
Ali: Did it hurt?
David: I couldn't walk for a year!
#joke #short
Dave: I got this great new hea...
Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.Mary: Are you wearing it now?
Dave: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's top of the line.
Mary: Wow! What kind is it?
Dave: Twelve-thirty
#joke #short
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