|
Short jokes - funny one liners (14201 to 14240)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14201 to 14240. |
Q: I heard th...
Q: I heard that french horn players make for good kissers...A: ...the problem is where they put their right hand.
#joke #short
The Joy of Christmas Cards
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.What denomination? asks the clerk.
Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? said the woman. Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist.
#joke #short #christmas
A driver stops in a small town...
A driver stops in a small town and asks someone, "Excuse me, can you tell me where this road is going?" The townie says, "It don't go nowhere, it stays right where it is."#joke #short
How does a pig go to hospital...
How does a pig go to hospital?Census...
Census Taker: 'How many children do you have?'Woman: 'Four.'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.'
#joke #short
A Different Nighttime Prayer
We’ve been letting our six-year-old go to sleep listening to the radio, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a good idea. Last night he said his prayers and wound up with: “And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Sister. Amen—and FM!â€
#joke #short
How do you sink an Australian ...
How do you sink an Australian submarine?Knock on the window
Did you hear about the Australian shoplifter?
He was found crushed beneath the local supermarket.
An Australian was asked to donate to the church reroofing fund. So he gave some of the lead back
More to come!
#joke #short
Teacher: If you found a bill w...
Teacher: If you found a bill worth a hundred, would you keep it? Pupil: No, sir. Teacher: Good, what would you do with it? Pupil: Sir, IÂ’ll spend it.#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 139
If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number...
#joke #short
Belly Buttons Explained
Q: How do babies get their belly buttons?
A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, “You’re done…you’re done…you’re done…â€
#joke #short
Yo momma is so stupid she went...
Yo momma is so stupid she went to the Clippers game for a haircut.#joke #short
A guy walks into a bar and dem...
A guy walks into a bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest in here?"The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car to the gas station?"
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Women Drivers
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.#joke #short
My kids love going to the Web,...
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
#joke #short
Determining sex
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?A: Childbirth.
#joke #short
Why was the dude fired from hi...
Why was the dude fired from his quality-control job at the M&M factory? Because he kept throwing away all the ones with "W"s on them.#joke #short
What do you call a dentist in ...
What do you call a dentist in the army?A drill sergeant
#joke #short
Why The Bad Plays?
A true story, according to the LA Times.....
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
#joke #short
A Day At The Beach
A man joins a very exclusive n*dist colony. On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.#joke #short
What do you call a crate of du...
What do you call a crate of ducks ?A box of quackers !
#joke #short
How do you keep a dude busy?
How do you keep a dude busy? - Give him a pack of M&Ms and ask him to put the candies in alphabetical order.
#joke #short
How do monsters like their egg...
How do monsters like their eggs cooked?Can you spell that?
Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota."
The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?"
Little Johnny thought for a few seconds and said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."
#joke #short
A guy walks into the doctor's ...
A guy walks into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
Dumb monkey
Why did t...
Dumb monkeyWhy did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was holding hands with the first monkey
why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
because it thought they were playing a game!
A Dublin lawyer died in povert...
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral.The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. 'Only a shilling?' said the Justice, 'Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them.'
Why do the Vikings play in a D...
Why do the Vikings play in a Dome?Because even God can't stand to watch!
#joke #short
Fortune Teller
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.#joke #short
