Short jokes - funny one liners (14521 to 14560)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14521 to 14560.

What do you like best about me....

I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me....

"Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"

She replied....

"Your sense of humor, dear."

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.

Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

Basketball

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #29 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Did you hear about the race be...

Did you hear about the race between the water hose, the tomato, and the lettuce? The hose is still running, the tomato is trying to ketchup, and the lettuce is ahead.

#joke #short #food #tomato

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Why didn't the skeleton cross ...

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts

Tony White, Loanhead
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburghnews .com

The full article contains 37 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.

Page 1 of 1

#joke #short

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day

Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

Lightbulb...Californians

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs they screw in hot tubs.

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.

Currently 3.88/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (8)

leather jacket

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A rebel without a clue!

#joke #short #blonde

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Kill A Fish

Why cant a Blonde kill a fish?

cause she always trys to drown the fish...

#joke #short #blonde #animal #fish

Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.

Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (4)

Did you hear about the compute...

Did you hear about the computer novice who had to copy a floppy disk? He took it to the photocopying machine.

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (3)

The boy cannibal came home fro...

The boy cannibal came home from school one day and said to his mother, "I hate my brother's guts." "Okay," said his mother, "I won't put them in your sandwiches again."

#joke #short #mother

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (3)

What's round and bad-tempered?...

What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

Eric Lewis, Stenhouse

If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburgh news.com

The full article contains 34 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.

Page 1 of 1

#joke #short

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day

Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (3)

First Cannibal: Who was that g...

First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper!

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

One cannibal to another: Your ...

One cannibal to another: Your wife makes a great soup. Second cannibal: Yes! But I'm going to miss her terribly.

#joke #short #food #soup

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

Family of tomatoes...

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, Â“Ketchup!Â”

#joke #short #food #tomato #father

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.

Currently 2.46/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (41)

Slept on the floor

Michael Jackson claims that his partners would sleep in the bed, while he slept on the floor.

You know, it's the same arrangement the Clintons had.

--Jay Leno

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

Cannibal school principal: So,...

Cannibal school principal: So, children, what did you make of the new English teacher? Students: Burgers, sir.

#joke #short #food #burger

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (3)

Two cannibals are having dinne...

Two cannibals are having dinner. One says to the other "I don't like your friend." The other replies, "Well, set him aside and just eat the vegetables."

#joke #short #food #dinner

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 6.60/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (5)

difference between titanic and yo mamma

Do you know what the difference between yo momma and the titanic?

The titanic sunk, yo momma floats.

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 5.75/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (4)

Why did the cannibal want to l...

Why did the cannibal want to live on his own? He was fed up with other people.

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (6)

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinkin...

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a snail.
Don't worry, we'll soon have you out of your shell.

#joke #short #doctor #animal #snail

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day

Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Be Quiet in Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they

were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary

to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are

sleeping!"

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (7)

Do You Know Where You Were Going?

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop: Do you know where you were going?

Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.

#joke #short #blonde #policeman

Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.

Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (3)

What did the cannibal say afte...

What did the cannibal say after a big lunch? I'm so full, I couldn't eat another mortal.

#joke #short #food #lunch

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (3)

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a ...

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dustbin.

Don't talk rubbish.
Donald Goode, Dalkeith

If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburghnews.com

The full article contains 35 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.

Page 1 of 1

#joke #short #doctor

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day

Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

Wife on car phone: I heard on ...

Wife on car phone: I heard on the news that there's a wild car going on the wrong lane of the highway. Be careful! Husband: It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Definition - Intelligent Blonde

Q: What do you call an intelligent blonde?

A: A golden retreiver!

#joke #short #blonde

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

Doctor, doctor, my wife keeps ...

Doctor, doctor, my wife keeps thinking she's invisible. I'm sorry, sir, but I can't see her right now.

#joke #short #doctor

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Doctor, doctor, my son's just ...

Doctor, doctor, my son's just swallowed some gunpowder! Well, ma'am, please don't point him at me.

#joke #short #doctor

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Hallowen

What do people do for fun by themselves on Halloween?

They monsterbate.

Submitted by calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short #halloween

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (5)

When I was at school, I was as...

When I was at school, I was as smart as the next fellow. Too bad the next fellow was such an idiot.

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (3)

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing ...

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing into the future.
When did this first happen?

Next Tuesday.

#joke #short #doctor

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day

Currently 6.86/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (7)

Teacher: You weren't at school...

Teacher: You weren't at school last Friday, Jack. I heard you went to the movies. Jack: That's a lie! And I've got the tickets from the basketball game to prove it.

#joke #short #friday

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (6)

Doctor, doctor, these pills yo...

Doctor, doctor, these pills you gave me for BO are no use.

What's wrong with them?

They keep slipping from under my arms.

#joke #short #doctor

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day

Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (2)

Little Johnny comes home from ...

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"

Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.

#joke #short #mother

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead

Currently 4.13/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (8)

What happens when a lawyer tak...

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? -- They grow taller!

#joke #short #lawyer

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

Legless Poodle

What do you call a poodle with no legs?

A sponge.

#joke #short #animal #poodle

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.

Currently 5.14/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (7)

Billy Ray

Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?

A: An itchy, twitchy twat.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (10)

Can U Read It

Briteesh destraayed avar kantry faar 150 earss. let uss destraay deree laangvedge foryever.... Do yit yand yenjaaay.... :-)

Yeast aar Waist aavar caantry iss da BAIST!!!!!!!!!!

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.

Currently 4.13/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (8)

A couple were having a picnic ...

A couple were having a picnic in a jungle. Suddenly a crocodile appears and attacks the husband. He cries, "Shoot it, quick!" "I can't!" says his wife. "I'm out of film!"

#joke #short #animal #crocodile

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (2)

Blondie Plays Poker

Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen

french fries to a poker game?

Someone told her to bring her own chips.

#joke #short #blonde #food #fries

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.

Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

Jack: How long can a person li...

Jack: How long can a person live without brains? Jill: I don't know, just how old are you?

#joke #short

Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.

Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (6)

Jokes Archive

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