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Short jokes - funny one liners (1481 to 1520)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1481 to 1520. |
Lovely Child
My wife said she'd like to have another baby...
I agreed. The one we have is starting to annoy me.
Do parole officers suffer from
Do parole officers suffer from constipulation?People who collect nail trimmi
People who collect nail trimmings, aka, clipped-toe maniacs.If Elton John and Albert Einst
If Elton John and Albert Einstein ever got together, their undeniable chemistry would be termed a homogeneous mixture.What was the first thing the h
What was the first thing the horny old man did when he got new dentures? He masticated.Resolved Settlement
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in...
A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
The Crusaders weren't in
The Crusaders weren't into raping and pillaging, but they were into papin' and religion.What Is Junk?
What exactly is junk?
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
Am I allergic to invisible par
Am I allergic to invisible parasites? I dust mite be.As an art buff, I'm alwa
As an art buff, I'm always hopped up on sedatives. Life is more anaesthetically pleasing that way.I don't understand the F
I don't understand the Financial meltdown of '08. Can you put it in Lehman's terms? All I know is that Bare Sterns didn't cover their asses.Playing the Guitar
When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar badly.
And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar... badly.
Clothing a dwarf is hard. That
Clothing a dwarf is hard. That's why they launched the Human Jean-Gnome project.The OPEC countries are an r
The OPEC countries are an oiligarchy. Everyone is petrolfied of them. As Bush would say to Bin Laden, ‘Saudi, partner!'My friend Annette is a puppet,
My friend Annette is a puppet, but she's a catch. I think I might marry Annette.Is baldness inherited or
Is baldness inherited or exhairited? #joke #short
Dropping Fat Man and Little Bo
Dropping Fat Man and Little Boy on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was a bomb on nation.What's the business equi
What's the business equivalent of combining matter and anti-matter? A: cars with built-in smartphones, ie Kia and Nokia.Christmas Evolution
The 4 stages of man...
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
He looks like Santa Claus.
I went to Kinshasa, DRC, hopin
I went to Kinshasa, DRC, hoping to see modern skyscrapers, but saw nothing but demolished buildings. I guess you'd say there was an in Congo ruins between my expectations and reality.She Called Me Pretentious
My wife just called me pretentious.
I was so surprised my monocle fell out.
Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
What did Fog say to Mrs. Fog?
What did Fog say to Mrs. Fog?I Hate Those People
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get “saved” or you'll “burn”...
Stupid firemen.
Due To Recent Cutbacks
Due to recent cutbacks...
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!
If Jesus had weighed 450 pound
If Jesus had weighed 450 pounds, would the Bible have started “In the biggening…”?Two roaches were munching on g
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
