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Short jokes - funny one liners (1521 to 1560)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1521 to 1560. |
The fashion scene in Spain is
The fashion scene in Spain is intense! It's like a Seville wore.With climate change all over t
With climate change all over the media, can you spot a melting glacier? What's your Ice See Q?The Three Unwritten Rules of Life
1._______________________________
2. _______________________________
3.________________________________
NED: Have you heard it through
NED: Have you heard it through the grape vine?ED: No, I don't keep up with currant events.
NED: C'mon, you should be raisin your awareness!
ED: Hey – quit winin‘!
NED: I'm just trying to give you a lil' viticulture…
ED: Aw, put a cork in it.
I sang my children to sleep. D
I sang my children to sleep. Does that make me a kid napper?Condom use can lead to asphyxi
Condom use can lead to asphyxia: it makes it hard to breed.Say What?
A researcher claims he has perfected a cure for deafness.
Now I’ve heard everything.
Early hominids were always get
Early hominids were always getting lost. Especially the ancient Meanderthals.It's hard to insure a fi
It's hard to insure a fishery. Most policies don't cover acts of Cod.The banker fell overboard whil
The banker fell overboard while taking a cruise on a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, and not knowing if the banker could swim, shouted, "Can you float alone?""Of course!" the banker yelled back, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
A Strange Text
My wife just sent me a strange text message.
"There's a man on the bus next to me who keeps farting."
I replied, "That's okay. At least he isn't on your bus."
There is no way to describe th
There is no way to describe the scheming, abrasive mailman character on TV's Seinfeld. He defies all Newmanclature.Whenever She Uses the Phrase
Whenever my wife uses the phrase, "I was thinking... "
That means I either have to move, build, paint, or buy something."
If you're at a loss for
If you're at a loss for words, don't worry, it's just aphasia.A guy comes home from work, wa
A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger having sex with his wife.He says, "What the hell are you two doing?"
His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."
When My Wife Gets Mad
I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything!
There is no smog out in the co
There is no smog out in the country. But there is hays everywhere.A wife catches her husband mas
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.The husband: "Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!"
Which primitive arthropods wou
Which primitive arthropods would occasionally eat little people? A: Tri low bites.My New Brother-In-Law
A lady married her husband's brother after she became a widow.
A few days passed, a friend came to her house. Upon seeing the picture of her ex husband on the wall, the friend asked, "Who is that?"
The lady replied, "Oh well, that's my brother-in-law."
Any failure of change machines
Any failure of change machines to accept cash is untenable.Loaning Weight
I never actually lose weight anymore.
Apparently, I just loan it out and it comes back with interest.
And lately, I have been getting great rates of return!
Buzz Aldrin Introduction
How Buzz Aldrin introduces himself...
"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man on the moon... Neil before me!"
A railroad track, aka a ron
A railroad track, aka a pullmanary artery.Lacking Good Looks
Women call me ugly occasionally, but that’s only until they hear how much money I make...
Then they say I’m poor and ugly.
