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Short jokes - funny one liners (14961 to 15000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14961 to 15000. |
never, under any circumAmanpre...
never, under any circumAmanpreetces, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.#joke #short
A woman rings the police to as...
A woman rings the police to ask if any lunatic has escaped from the asylum in the past week. "No, why?" says the person in charge."Someone's run off with my husband."
#joke #short #policeman
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Q: How many Manchester City fans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
#joke #short
This nun was taking a bath, wh...
This nun was taking a bath, when there was a knock on the door."Who is it?," she cried.
"It's the blind man.," was the answer.
Says the nun, "Well, come on in and tell me your troubles."
In comes the man.
"Wow!" he says, "Where should I hang the blinds?"
#joke #short
i am so good in bed that...
i am so good in bed that when I have sex even the neighbors need a cigarette.#joke #short
Executive ability is about dec...
Executive ability is about deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.#joke #short
A man goes into his doctor's s...
A man goes into his doctor's surgery and says "Doctor, can you give me something for persistent wind?" The doctor thinks for a moment then replies, "Yes, go and buy a kite."All Categories
Q: How many Manchester City fans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
#joke #short
Executive ability is about dec...
Executive ability is about deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.#joke #short
A man goes into his doctor's s...
A man goes into his doctor's surgery and says "Doctor, can you give me something for persistent wind?" The doctor thinks for a moment then replies, "Yes, go and buy a kite."Miscellaneous
Q: How many Manchester City fans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
#joke #short
new Viagra candy bar just put ...
new Viagra candy bar just put in major grocery chains across the country: Oh, Oh, Oh my God, Henry!#joke #short
Vain Girl: A lot of men are go...
Vain Girl: A lot of men are going to be totally miserable when I marry. Girl friend: Really? And just how many men are you planning to marry?#joke #short
"I went fly-fishing yesterday....
"I went fly-fishing yesterday."Man with few words
Man on street asks women if she wanted to have sex. She replys back my house or yours? He replied back, if you want to argue about it forget it.#joke #short
If God had meant us to travel ...
If God had meant us to travel economy class, he would have made us narrower.#joke #short
What has four legs, is big, gr...
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?If a bra is an upper topper ti...
If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper, and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker, and a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper, what do you a call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy.
Next time someone asks you if ...
Next time someone asks you if they can "sneak by you," ask them how the hell they plan to do that when you know they are going by.Tell them that next time they should not warn you, and maybe, just maybe, they could sneak by.
#joke #short
i have long said that th...
i have long said that there are more leaks in Washington than in Anheuser-Busch's biggest men's room."#joke #short
If God had wanted man to see t...
If God had wanted man to see the sun rise, He would have made it come later in the day.#joke #short
I went to Gorgie City Farm las...
I went to Gorgie City Farm last weekend, and while I was there I had a religious experience.Good news and bad news...
A doctor enters into a patient's room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear.
The patient responds, "Doctor, give me the good news."
The doctor says, "Well we are gonna name a disease after you."
A student received a software ...
A student received a software package from his friend. But, he didn't have a computer.The label on the package said that the software required "Windows 3.1 or better."
So, he bought a Macintosh.
#joke #short
new Scientist magazine reporte...
new Scientist magazine reported that researchers are struggling to understand a rare medical condition where sufferers have sex while they're asleep. The name of the disease is called "marriage."#joke #short
If God had wanted man to see t...
If God had wanted man to see the sun rise, He would have made it come later in the day.#joke #short
I went to Gorgie City Farm las...
I went to Gorgie City Farm last weekend, and while I was there I had a religious experience.Handcuffed
What do you call a handcuffed man?Trustworthy.
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
#joke #short
It might look like I'm doing n...
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.#joke #short
Old Angus was taken to hospita...
Old Angus was taken to hospital with splinters of glass in his tongue. "How did it happen?" asked the nurse. Angus' tongue was too full of splinters for him to explain so the nurse gave him a pencil and paper. He wrote: "I dropped a bottle of whisky on the kitchen floor."thought for the day: Just beca...
thought for the day: Just because your penis surgery was not successful is no reason to go off half-cocked.#joke #short
Recalled Chrstimas Toys
Recalled Christmas Toys
- Broken Bag-O-Glass
- Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit
- Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook
- Timothy McVays home Chemistry set
- Switchblade Barney
- Pork-n-Beany Babies
- Make your own moonshine kit
- Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)
#joke #short #christmas
It might look like I'm doing n...
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.#joke #short
thought for the day: Just beca...
thought for the day: Just because your penis surgery was not successful is no reason to go off half-cocked.#joke #short
Wallet
How is a woman like a condom?Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
#joke #short
