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Short jokes - funny one liners (14921 to 14960)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14921 to 14960. |
Eagles and Weasels
Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.Astrology
I don't believe in astrology...I'm a Sagittarian and we're
skeptical.
- Charles Schultz
How many software engineers do...
How many software engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just define darkness as a new industry standard!Mary asked her husband to take...
Mary asked her husband to take her somewhere expensive.A Drunk Nose
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink.The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you, you're off your face!"
The greatest boss....
Our parish priest was making a visit to my nephew's home. He knocked on the door, and the little 4-year-old boy went to the door and way the priest. He called to his dad, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!"
Was it good?
After making love, I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?"She said "I don't think this was good for anybody!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Grey hair is definitely heredi...
Grey hair is definitely hereditary. Parents get them from their children.Whoever said "nothing is impos...
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.After a lesson on magnetism, a...
After a lesson on magnetism, a science teacher asks his class to name something beginning with "M" that will pick up.Men are like...
Roller C...
Men are like...Roller Costers...
They either make you sick to your stomach or give you the time of your life.
It seems that despite the adve...
It seems that despite the advertisements in the paper, stores don't want you to do our Christmas shopping too early.A local store just arrested a fellow for shopping about two hours before the store opened.
I want to die peacefully in my...
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car."How's the mouth? asked the de...
"How's the mouth? asked the dentist, when Mr McDonald came for his check up.Why is a government worker lik...
Why is a government worker like a broken shotgun? It won't work and you can't fire it.How do you talk to a hen?
How do you talk to a hen?
A little boy walks up to the p...
A little boy walks up to the preacher after church one day and says, "Preacher, when I grow up and get a job, I am going to give you a lot of money."The preacher says, "Why do you want to do that?"
The boy replies, " Because my Daddy said that you are the poorest preacher he has ever heard."
Where Is This Bus Going?
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
Here's another bumper sticker:...
Here's another bumper sticker: "If this car is being driven safely, call the cops -- it's been stolen!"How do you get five donkeys to...
How do you get five donkeys to fit into a fire engine?What would you like for your birthday....
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."
"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
"So I got home, and the p...
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'And a voice said 'You are.'"
Bra & Hat
What did the bra say to the hat?"You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."
I thought this was a country o...
I thought this was a country of free speech. So why are there phone bills?Did you hear about the paper c...
Did you hear about the paper cowboy?Noah wasn't all that smart. If...
Noah wasn't all that smart. If he had been, he would have swatted those two flies.No more nailbiting...
Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous."
My Billy used to do the same things," the older woman replied, "but I broke him of that pesky habit."
"How?"
"I hid his teeth!"
"Now, most dentist's...
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'.And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'"
Murphy's Law of Toast
Murphy's Law of ToastThe probability of the toast landing jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
#joke #short
The probability of the toast landing jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Some drink at the fountain of ...
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge Â… others just gargle.Special childrens rate...
A little child was in church for the first time and watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster said in a little voice loud enough for everyone to hear:
"Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."
