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Short jokes - funny one liners (161 to 200)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 161 to 200. |
Seeing Voices
I accidentally put eye drops in my ear...
Now I can literally see what you’re saying!
One Train Hears Another
How does a train hear another train coming?
With its engineers.
A Dangerous Place
Restaurant bathrooms are really, really dangerous...
So many of my first dates have gone to use them and vanished.
Say What
When my 14-year-old son, Patrick, stepped up to the plate during a Colt League baseball game, the young announcer declared, "Now batting, the right fielder, number 12, Pathogen!"
After some confusion in the stands, the announcer came back on over the loudspeaker. "Sorry folks, that's PAT Hogan!"
Bills To Pay
A man asked me for a dollar.
I told him I only carry big bills.
He said give him one of those.
So I gave him my electric bill.
Strippers are often infertile.
Strippers are often infertile. The men are nudered and the women insist on being well-spayed. Dyslexic clairvoyant nurse
Hear about the dyslexic clairvoyant nurse who didn't bother to charge for her services, because she could fee into the suture? Politician's Sandwich
On the Listening Tour, a prominent politician was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town he was visiting had named a sandwich after him.
He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it.
"Mostly baloney," said the proprietor.
My girlfriend complained
My girlfriend complained I never took her anywhere, so we went to the Grand Canyon so she felt valley dated. Random Letters
Me: I'm terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: (Screams)
Therapist: I see....
Me: (Scream intensifies)
A nation full of insane people
A nation full of insane people has a lot of govern mental challenges.5 short jokes for great Friday
I hired a lawyer to sue the airlines for mishandling my luggage.
He lost the case.
Vegetarians think eating animals is immoral
But eating mushrooms is morel
How do you make an eggroll?
You push it!
What day do eggs hate the most?
Fry-day
How do eggs run so fast?
They’re afraid of being beaten
Very few Broadway actors live
Very few Broadway actors live a Tony lifestyle.
Only a Half Wit
Joe: "I've heard about your wit."
Moe: "Oh, that's nothing."
Joe: "Yeah, that's what I've heard."
The painter became a wrestler,
The painter became a wrestler, because he wanted to lay the smock down.My athl
My athlete wife won an Olympic gold even while I was cheating on her. I told her, “Quit medalling in my affairs!”Social activists in Hell are p
Social activists in Hell are pressuring Satan to resign, after he was accused of Hades speech.The talking cockatiel
The talking cockatiel was an expert at parotty.Photographic Memory
Everyone has a photographic memory...
Some just still keep it on film...
And they never develop it.
We are so paranoid about terro
We are so paranoid about terrorists, in the Western Hamasfear.
Sodomy puns are sexual
Sodomy puns are sexual in ur endo.Learning To Count
Being an older parent, my son learned to count...
By filling my pill dispenser.
The clown with a split persona
The clown with a split personality was a bit of a Juggle and Hyde character.The Ancient Egyptians were ver
The Ancient Egyptians were very scientific in all matters. In fact they even quantified their sexual enjoyment, by keeping track of Pharoah-moan production.Crime during Oktoberfest
I committed a crime during Oktoberfest, and my friend ratted on me to the cops. Man, what a schnitz. Honeymoon Is Over
Husband: "Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects."
Wife: "Don't bother, dear. I'm quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from getting a much better man than you."
