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Short jokes - funny one liners (1601 to 1640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1601 to 1640. |
Don't touch my elbow! Do
Don't touch my elbow! Do it and I'll have you charged with arm rubbery.I Went To A Wise Man
I went a wise man the other day for advice and he said, "He who knows and knows he knows, knows not. He who knows not and knows he knows not, knows."
I don't know who's going to do my taxes next year, but I know it won't be him again.
According to a study,
According to a study, Julius had strokes, not epilepsy. So don't call him Caesar. #joke #short
On a chilly winter evening, a
On a chilly winter evening, a husband and wife were snuggled together on the floor watching television. During a commercial break, he reached over and gave her foot a gentle squeeze."Mmmmm," she said. "That's so sweet."
"Actually," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought that was the remote."
Writing A Book
I’m writing a book in fifth person...
So every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody…”
Shamans are a
Shamans are always embarrassing themselves.What happens when you take out
What happens when you take out people's eyes?The List
My friends asked me to go camping, so I made a list of the things I would need:
“1. New friends.”
I won't play music for m
I won't play music for my friend Monica. I don't want to harm Monica.An eight-year-old kid swaggere
An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks.""What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked.
"Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch."
The rich aunt was disappointed
The rich aunt was disappointed and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check.""I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I didn't know you were talking about neckties."
I'd like to build a barn
I'd like to build a barn over Christmas, if I can find space in my shed-yule.Bit Harsh I Thought
"Push harder!" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"I hate you, I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone!" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought… it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.
How do statues get rid of sore
How do statues get rid of sore throats?
To really spice up your resume
To really spice up your resume, include extra-curryculars.Sixteenth century musicians we
Sixteenth century musicians were often guilty of lute behaviour. And any who denied it was considered a lyre.Back Together Again
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.
MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!
They made a movie about Soviet
They made a movie about Soviet censorship: The Hunt for Redactober.I misspelled the menus at my r
I misspelled the menus at my restaurant. Perverts kept showing up asking ‘where's the can o'pees'?A grade school teacher was ins
A grade school teacher was instructing her students on the value of coins. She took a half-dollar and laid it on her desk. "Can any of you tell me what it is?" she asked.From the back of the room came the answer: "Tails!"
I'm a bit confused about
I'm a bit confused about what the word ‘aloha' means. Is it ‘Hawaii doing?‘ or ‘Will you Maui me?'Work Rules Your Life
Yesterday my spouse was berating me for checking my email all day as I work from home.
"You know," she complained, "I think that work rules your life."
"No dear," I replied, "you rule my life... I just prefer work."
Where in the Bible does Jesus
Where in the Bible does Jesus bequeath his woodworking tools?Marriage Lottery
"Do you believe marriage is a lottery?"
"No... it's not. In a lottery, a man is supposed to have a chance."
Anyone in a mink coat is evil.
Anyone in a mink coat is evil. Is that a valid infurance?Mr. Mucus ran for governor. He
Mr. Mucus ran for governor. He was extremely boogernatorial.Whenever I leave the country p
Whenever I leave the country people say I emigrate guy.Dirty diapers bring good luck.
Dirty diapers bring good luck. So always wish upon ass tar.To make crucifixion victims su
To make crucifixion victims suffer, they nailed them die agonyly.They Call Me the Computer
My boss calls me "the computer"...
Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
